A Four-Letter Word
Brooke says... something beginning with C.
To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word.
End is the only part of the word
That I heard.
Call me morbid or absurd.
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word.
Writer: John McCrea.
The dilemma.
The c-word! Brooke said it, loud and clear. You know the one. We all do, even if we choose to say it less often than we think it.
I sensed a pitfall, a sense of déjà vu from the time I used a c-word in one of my newsletters, Andrea Vance style.
That didn’t go so well. I wrote a letter of apology, which was graciously accepted, and so was born an adherence to a standard, leaving me with a dilemma…
Cautiously, to use a ‘C’ word, that’s how we’ll proceed, but before we do, let’s step back and consider the events leading up to Brooke’s foul-mouthed roar.
Readers, a confession: I considered using the Helen Reddy classic “I Am Woman” as the end song today, in honour of Brooke letting the country hear her roar. But I thought that might go down about as well as… well, you know.
The defence.
Back to those events… Over the weekend, it appears that National decided on a two-pronged defence to the criticism they were facing over pay equity.
Firstly, they would call Labour liars, splitting hairs that money was not being taken from pay packets, although it was clearly no longer going to be put in them.
This involved mansplaining an alternate reality of what they did while posting memes of Chippy with a Pinocchio nose.
Secondly, Nicola Willis would flail about, claiming the moral high ground and implying that she was, in fact, the real victim in this because of the Andrea Vance article, which said:
“…the phalanx of female MPs, a generously-paid, traditionally overvalued trade, shafting the underpaid women doing vital, feminised labour that keeps the country functioning.
Turns out you can have it all. So long as you’re prepared to be a c... to the women who birth your kids, school your offspring and wipe the arse of your elderly parents while you stand on their shoulders to earn your six-figure, taxpayer-funded pay packet.”
The denials.
National were all on script, Bishop, Luxon, and Willis calling Chippy a liar, because accusing your opponent of lying is easier than facing up to the reality of your actions.
I pondered - “So, Mr Luxon, if you're not 'taking money out of women's pay packets', where do you think those billions you just saved, that ACT are crowing about, were going?”
The mansplaining.
Logic was not going to deter National. Even if their arguments lacked it, and focused on the irrelevant.
The women I have heard speak out about these changes are so clearly telling the truth that Chris Bishop's mansplaining was repugnant, as for his accusations that these women of such integrity were liars? How bloody dare he!
wasn’t best pleased either and commented:“Equal pay is not pay equity you absolute dumbass. Stop arguing points that nobody is making. Answer the questions we actually want you to answer - why did you rush this through under urgency? Why did you intentionally hide it from ministers? Why did you not seek any evidence whatsoever to support removing pay equity claims? What claims actually meet the impossible threshold you’ve just put through? What do you say to those who have fought for more than a decade on their claims, now that you’ve thrown those claims out for no other reason than you couldn’t balance the budget?
Stop being a mansplaining cuck and answer the questions being asked of you by women who are far smarter than you’ll ever be.”
Still, National continued to grin and bear it, hoping that if they portrayed those with legitimate concerns as dishonest, they could weather the storm.
The inconvenient pay rise.
Just as the timing of this legislation, so close to Mother’s Day, was a bad look, so too was the latest pay rise for parliamentarians, which arrived so soon after the cancellation of pay claims by thousands of women.
Cabinet Ministers received a nice increase just as they were pulling the ladder up behind them and about to announce a budget of vicious austerity.
The Questioning.
Question #8 in parliament yesterday was from Jan Tinetti to Brooke, and asked whether she agreed with a part of Andrea Vance’s article, not the part that referenced the c-word. Male opposition members leapt to defend the damsel van Velden…
Before Brooke had an opportunity to answer, Shane Jones raised what he said was an important Point of Order, which Speaker Brownlee rejected.
Then Chris Bishop intervened, and Winston followed, employing silly delaying tactics, but even Gerry could see that the arguments were spurious.
So Brooke was finally allowed to speak, but only for a moment, with this bizarre interchange:
Hon BROOKE VAN VELDEN (Minister for Workplace Relations and Safety): Thank you, Mr Speaker. It was hard to find a single sentence in Andrea Vance's article I agree with.
SPEAKER: That'd be enough of an answer.
Hon BROOKE VAN VELDEN: Mr Speaker, point of order.
SPEAKER: No, there's no point of order on this. You've answered the question. It's a controversial question. I'm keeping order in the House. The member would be advised to take my advice, resume her seat, and take the next supplementary.
Seymour jumped up; suddenly, defending a woman’s rights was critically important.
Hon David Seymour: Point of order, Mr Speaker.
SPEAKER: A point of order—this better be something that's really useful.
Hon David Seymour: I can assure you, Mr Speaker. We've got a Minister here who has been attacked by a very questionable question. And I think the best thing that can happen right now, instead of everyone else interrupting, is she be given a full opportunity to respond the way she wants to.
SPEAKER: Well, thank you for your view. I don't agree with you.
I almost felt sorry for Brooke and David.
Not as human beings, you understand; as far as I’m concerned, you could catapult the pair of them into Cook Strait in a howling gale, never to be seen again, and the world would be a better place.
I mean in terms of fairness in parliament. Surely a Minister should be given the chance to answer, no matter what we think of them.
The c-word.
Following a supplementary question from Tinetti, Brooke seized her chance and unleashed that word, without fear, even raising her voice noticeably as she said it.
So what happened?
Nothing. Nobody jumped to their feet; there were no cries of outrage, no reaction, save for poor old Mr Peters, who couldn’t look.
If we’re not going to say boo to a ghost about Brooke dropping the “c bomb”, as 1 News put it, then for goodness sake can we stop harassing Te Pāti Māori over a haka?
Seriously, if you’re offended by a haka and not the c-word, well, there’s a word for that beginning with ‘R’, but I don’t suppose it’s very parliamentary.
That word is racist, by the way.
How else would you describe Brooke receiving no punishment or warning, while the recommendation is for Debbie Ngarewa-Packer and Rawiri Waititi to be suspended for 21 days, and Hana-Rāwhiti Maipi-Clarke, seven days, over a haka in response to the Treaty Principles Bill?
As for Nicola Willis pontificating about the use of such derogatory words, has she forgotten her faux accidental comments about Grant Robertson’s sausage or his hole?
The word used by Brooke, and referred to by Andrea Vance, is worse than Nicola’s feeble banter, but given the Finance Minister’s priors, it’s just a bit rich.
Speaking of a bit rich…
Sheesh, with all that went on, Maiki Sherman chose to end her report on 1 News with a dig at Labour, for having asked the question, as if they were somehow the party at fault.
It was so absurd that I almost felt embarrassed for her. Fortunately Lloyd Burr provided much better coverage over on Three:
Now that Brooke is using that word on the floor of the house, perhaps Nicola might utilise the ladder she pulled up behind her to descend from her moral high ground?
What do you think? Do you agree with Maiki that this is on Labour, or are there perhaps one or two other parties more at fault?
Should Brooke be allowed to do whatever she wants while Te Pāti Māori are suspended over an act that many celebrated?
That feels like a good place to leave it today. Have a great Thursday, folks. 🙂
Ngā mihi,
Nick.
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A slightly hesitant song choice to end, as a) I have a vague recollection of using this before, and b) Brooke doesn’t merit the magnificence that is Cake. Nevertheless, here are Cake with Friend Is a Four-Letter Word.
The punishment for a haka in parliament seems extraordinarily aggressive. 21 day suspension! WTF! It was powerful political discourse, with no offensive language.
Sure the c word in English is seen as offensive but zero consequence?
It does rather seem to be double standard. Racism, yes.
The COC need to own this one, funny how they can dish it out , but getting a slap back is too much for them to handle. Well said Andrea Vance !