Be Kind! Be Kryptonite!

We don't need someone telling us to be kind.

A year ago I had Covid. So did all my family.

It doesn’t seem remarkable now, we were barely surprised the second time we got it, but it did at the time. Having avoided it for two years and feeling a bit smug about how well New Zealand had done it felt like a genuine surprise reading the first positive test.

The headline that week was “Russian forces seize Chernobyl”. That was a headline you never expected to read! Many, myself included, found it hard to believe, despite all the posturing leading up to it, that a major war was being fought in Europe in 2022.

Back here the anti vaccination/mandate protest outside parliament was three weeks old and turning ugly. Those who had come with genuine, if misguided, reasons for protesting had drifted away and what remained were the hard core conspiracy theorists, Jacinda haters, and fringe lunatics who had latched on to the protest. It felt like it had gone on too long and something needed to be done - which it would be the following week.

It was a grim time, but in a way things feel even grimmer today.

This nation has been through much - a terrorist attack, a pandemic, a volcanic eruption, earthquakes, and now floods for a third time in a month. Jesus, when do the locusts arrive?

Why grimmer? Even with all those hard times it felt like we had a card in play that trumped all the horrible things that were happening.

I wonder what that makes you think of?

I’m talking about Kindness.

That word that put teddy bears in house windows during Covid. That brought people together after a terrorist attack to say “we reject your hate, we love these people, we care about them - they are us.”

Every day though it feels like more bad stuff is happening. The cost of everything is horrendous. Economic uncertainty looms. Sadly the forever war in the Ukraine marches on.

The weather is awful - we just didn’t have a summer this year. That is a huge blow psychologically. Through the months of cold, grey, rain people look forward to their summer break. Time away from work, BBQs, swimming, reading a book in the cool shade, maybe a fancy cocktail - a celebration of relaxation and sunshine. But this year it just didn’t happen.

People have returned to work without their batteries recharged. The hamster wheel turns and there is another whole year to wait before the summer break.

We are bombarded by the media, and with political information, telling us again and again how awful things are.

It grinds people down. The weather, the financial pressures, the constant negativity.

And no one is standing before us saying “Be Kind”.

You know who I mean.

Sometimes it feels like “they” won. The people that mocked kindness, it even seemed to make some of them angry. Kindness was somehow Kryptonite to their bitterness and selfishness. Now they have defeated it and their negativity levels are fully recharged.

But they haven’t “won”.

The kindness is still there. There may have been a brave person who stood before a troubled nation and preached the importance of kindness, despite knowing that some would mock and reject it. But although she is no longer standing before us kindness is still there within us all.

We see it in the people standing deep in flooded streets to make sure their neighbours are safe. It is there in the work of professionals and volunteers working so hard, so many hours, to assist those worst hit by these storms. All of the donations to those who have lost their homes, their possessions, and some even whanau.

We need to be brave and stand up, like that person, to say - be kind. And we need to be kind ourselves.

Not everyone that disagrees with you is your enemy. It doesn’t make them evil or wrong. It means they have had different life experiences, they have a different outlook. Maybe listening and talking is a better, kinder solution than telling them they’re an idiot. You might learn something, and so might they.

Be kind whatever that means to you.

Take the time for a few kind friendly words with someone. It might make their day.

Look at things from the other person’s point of view. They’re probably working hard at whatever you think is taking too long or costing too much. They might be thinking - how am I going to eat charging these prices, everything is so bloody expensive.

During these hard times there will be an upswing in the saddest of crimes - family violence. Look out for it whether someone you know might be a victim, or you may know the one that is not coping and is responding in that awful way.

Say sorry to someone. Not because of something you did but because of how it made them feel, even if that wasn’t your intention. Sometimes being kind is more important than being right.

Don’t always be cross with something someone didn’t do but look at what they did do. Try and understand where they’re coming from. Maybe they thought they were doing the right thing? Maybe they aren’t a mind reader.

Be kind.

Be kind to yourself. You’re awesome. Don’t bother with guilt, and if you’re worrying about something is it worth doing so? Can you change it? Is it likely to happen? Is worrying about it just a waste of time and energy?

The people that hated Jacinda, that hated her talking about kindness, were right about one thing - “we don’t need someone telling us to be kind”.

We don’t.

We can see off all this negativity ourselves. We know how to be kind. All of us, not just the left wing ones, all of us.

There will be better days ahead. Summer days even - probably in a week or two.

But in the meantime with all this “Summer” of discontent, let’s remember those few little words.

Be Kind! Be Kryptonite!