No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyesNo one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
Have you ever wondered what life must be like for Mike Hosking? Seeing things in black and white through blue tinted specs? In today’s newsletter we’ll be taking a look at the world according to Mike, using his ratings from this week. Let’s get right into it.
The immigration statistics: 3/10 - The record broken by Kiwis leaving this country is the number that should be chiseled on the Labour Government gravestone 2017-2023. “Here lies Labour. 52,500 couldn’t stand it any longer.”
It turns out that despite the departure of Jacinda, Grant, and Chippy from the government benches they’re all still squatting in Mike’s head for free.
A record number of people left in the year ended March 2024, but the issue with Mike pinning the whole thing on Labour is that half of that period was before the election, and half afterwards. Not to mention the fact that for a fair bit of the half that Labour was in power for it was increasingly clear that a change of government was on the cards. Despite the fervent hopes of many to the contrary.
So for at least half of that period National were either in charge, or it looked like they soon would be. Despite Mike’s obsession with pinning everything on Labour, are these departures even about which party’s in power?
Michael Gordon, senior economist at Westpac NZ said “Departures of New Zealanders have been on a strong upward trend since early 2022, probably reflecting a catch-up on delayed plans.” Mark Smith, ABS Senior Economist, also put it down to “pent-up demand” for travel after COVID.
The reality for many is that they can earn more across the ditch, where the vast majority of those who are departing are heading. Not only will they earn more but houses and some other costs are quite a bit cheaper too.
Mostly though they just earn more. Which is an increasing problem in the public sector where people like police, or our health workforce, find themselves in high demand. So should we worry?
Not if the concern is about a falling population. While on average 1,000 New Zealanders left per week, three times as many arrived. Stats NZ said “163,600 non-New Zealand citizens, mainly from India, the Philippines, China, and Fiji, entered the country”. So that means the population actually increased by 111,000 as a result of migration.
We’re not running out of people.
But the bigger question is - for how long will Mike Hosking continue to blame Labour for everything? Despite them not having being in government for quite some time?
Cheer up Mikey, your side won, you need to let it go.
But my dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never freeNo one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
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Biden and Trump: 7/10 Two debates. A better watch than Mike Tyson v Jake Paul I reckon.
In a week when Biden called Trump out to go toe to toe, provided they agree to cutting off microphones once the speaker’s allotted time has finished, Mike’s about the only person on the planet who thinks it’s going to be a great watch.
A horrifying and depressing car crash no doubt, but not such a great watch when you consider one of them will be in charge for the next four years. In a key role to guide humanity through war, climate change, and other challenges.
It was a bizarre comparison, and made me wonder which demographic Hosking is trying to appeal to? I mean seriously, how many ZB listeners have a clue who Jake Paul is? I only know about Mr Paul because I have teenage sons.
Jake is a YouTuber, “one of the highest paid YouTube creators in 2017, 2018, 2021, and 2023”, who fancies himself a pop star, a boxer, and an entrepreneur - selling bogus instructional guides to becoming an influencer and who will, for just $19.99 per month, teach children “how to build an online presence”.
You hate him already right? In fact it wouldn’t be so bad to see the baddest man on the planet take him down a peg or two. But unfortunately this is not 1989 and Tyson is now 57 years old, whereas Paul is 27 - less than half his age, and he can actually box.
Just imagine, Mike Hosking on his couch, popcorn in hand, watching the debate as Kate, who’s dressed as a cheerleader, jumps up every time the Don says something obnoxious and yells, “give me a ‘T’, give me an ‘R’….”.
Give me a bucket.
But my dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
The Waitangi Tribunal: 4/10 - Why don’t they just write the one report? Just say "we hate national", "we hate everything they are doing", "everything they are doing is racist" and just hand a new copy out every time someone whinges?
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