Bitch

Acting badly, poor calls, and partisan judgements.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your Hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Writers: Shelly Peiken, Meredith Brooks

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Good morning, all you lovely people. 🙂 A newsletter this morning from the road…

Many of us take a passing interest in politics overseas around the time of elections. Over the last year, we’ve seen some momentous results in the UK, France, and, of course, the USA. Usually, we tend to tune out once the excitement is over and things return to the everyday mundane. However, it’s hard to look away from Trump 2.0.

If you didn’t watch the clip above, Trump’s pick for Education Secretary has been Linda McMahon, the billionaire co-founder of the WWE.

For those of you unfamiliar with that acronym sadly WWE does not stand for the Wide World of Education it is actually World Wrestling Entertainment - yep, that silly pro-wrestling play acting that Americans of a certain demographic seem to love.

Perhaps we should consider ourselves lucky that, unlike in Trump’s America, our coalition hasn’t chosen to appoint celebrities and/or major financial contributors to major roles.

Instead, they prefer a team of sycophantic yes-people to complement the psychos on the front bench and fill nominally independent roles using the old boy’s network of retired Nats.

Fortunately, when it came to choosing someone to redesign the school curriculum and solve our education challenges, the coalition knew better than to choose someone with no qualifications or work experience in Education.

I’m kidding; that’s exactly what they did.

Other than a degree in politics and working as a politician, Erica Stanford, the Minister of Education, has work experience in sales and television production, and that’s it.

What a great choice.

From National’s point of view, it makes sense. Erica can generally be placed in front of a camera and relied upon to do a good impression of knowing what she’s talking about, which immediately elevates her to the shortlist in the current National crop.

The only problem with Erica, beyond having been put in charge of a portfolio like Education, based on the fact that she seemed unlikely actually to hit someone with a piece of bedroom furniture or to call constituents losers, even if that accurately describes the impact on their lives of this government being elected, is her tendency to mutter strings of obscenities when being questioned by someone who actually knows something about the subject at hand.

The fact that Erica can assert confidence in the absence of anything that would merit such, or even look vaguely like Jacinda given the right haircut, angle, and lighting, was rather flushed away on Thursday when Minister Stanford called her predecessor, Jan Tinetti, who is a highly experienced educator and a thoroughly decent person, a “stupid bitch”.

How charming, Erica, what a lovely way to conduct yourself in your place of work.

It’s not really ok though, is it? I appreciate that Erica doesn’t like being questioned, and she must find it especially galling to have to explain her layperson’s approach to an actual expert in the field of Education, but this isn’t cool, is it?

Just last week, Willie Jackson had to leave the chamber for calling David Seymour a liar. Some might call that an accurate description, but the notoriously thin-skinned David “can give it but not take it” Seymour must not be maligned, said the Speaker with his thumb upon the scales of justice.

So calling someone careless with the truth a liar is unacceptable, but apparently, calling a really nice person with loads of knowledge and experience a Stupid Bitch is just fine.

Judge Gerry is showing his true colours once again. To her credit, Erica did at least immediately tell the truth that she had said it and apologised. But then, so too did Julie Anne Genter when she shook a leaflet in the face of Dobby Doocey, and nobody said that was alright then.

Which is worse? Calling someone a liar when they are deliberately spreading misinformation to hoodwink people into thinking we don’t have equality because of the Treaty or shaking some pieces of paper in front of someone who won’t listen?

Which is the greater crime? Performing a haka and ripping up a bill theatrically or a group assault on a much younger boy by someone who was more than old enough to know what was right and has never been held accountable in any way whatsoever? National hiding their internal report - which we can only assume they have chosen to do because the full extent of Big Sam Furniture Man’s bullying was so horrific and extensive that they have buried it or they didn’t even do one in the first place.

We have a real problem with bullying in our schools. Do we really want a Minister of Education who repeatedly talks to people in the workplace like that when they are simply asking questions - which is their job?

Christopher Luxon has shown pure partisanship; every opposition indiscretion is deemed unacceptable and must result in punishment, and every National one is fixed with a simple apology, whether it is meant or not.

I suppose if Andrew Bayly can be forgiven for swearing at a former service person now working in civilian life, calling them a loser and degrading them in front of the people they report to, then it is only fair that Erica be absolved for calling someone a stupid bitch, like a feral fourth former.

The front page of the NZ Herald site this morning has an article on communications over Andrew Bayly’s recent faux pas, which was released under the OIA.

For the most part, it shows a party that was intent on arse covering and not concerned by what had taken place, no real surprise there.

Lots of denial, though. Even when Bayly has a flashback to events and remembers he was drinking, in contrast to saying he hadn’t been, he seeks to minimise. He didn’t consume wine, he had a “small wine tasting”.

“For the avoidance of any doubt, after the incident and at the end of the day, I had a small wine tasting”, Bayly is quoted in the article, which raises the question, what is “small wine”? Had Minister Bayly been trying a new vintage from miniature bottles, or had they used especially small glasses?

Any of us who have been heavy drinkers know what it means; that’s exactly the sort of thing you say when you don’t want someone to think you’ve been drinking.

“Just a couple”, never means two, it probably means more like half a dozen, and so it is with Bayly’s wine. You don’t need to clarify that a wine tasting is small; such an event is by its nature means little alcohol - you don’t tend to drink large volumes, you try a little of a few wines, and it doesn’t add up to very much at all.

It makes me wonder whether “small wine tasting” is, in fact, a euphemism for “a long boozy afternoon getting blotto before abusing some random member of the public because you’re pissed.”

Come on, guys - everyone in the country knows that is what happened; nobody sober acts like that; it screams out the fact that he was drinking even as he mouths words to the contrary.

It’s even more farcical than the “mysterious identity” of the political figure who has just been convicted for sex offences against underage boys - we all know who it is; you can stop pretending now.

The comment I found most telling in the Herald’s disclosure of Bayly’s communications was this one:

One person who texted Bayly criticised Hipkins, saying he was “showing NZ why he leads opposition and fit for nothing else”.

Bayly replied: “I think the longer they push it doesn’t play well on him.”

That doesn’t sound very contrite. Bayly seems to have hoped the public would see the Labour leader as a wowser for complaining about his drinking. This echos his badgering of the worker that day, when he repeatedly pestered the man to drink alcohol with him.

Andrew Bayly at a winery in Marlborough in October 2024 where he had an altercation with a worker. Supplied under the Official Information Act

In a short while, I’ll be hitting the road to return to the big smoke. After what feels like a very long week, it’ll be good to get home. Fi is already at the airport, starting her long journey back, which ends at about sunrise tomorrow.

But I feel a heavy sadness at leaving Rotorua. Not only my good mate Keith but my dear friends Maureen and Angela, it has been a really lovely trip, full of laughs and love catching up, and I’m sorry to be going.

Guess I better start thinking about coming back. 🙂

This newsletter is open to all, so you’re welcome to share it, and if you’d like to subscribe, then now is a great time to beat the price rise which takes place on Tuesday.

I struggled to find the right song for this newsletter. Some amused me, but I thought they might offend others. I was delighted when I found this version of a song I imagine most of you will know—just owning it seemed like the best response. “Yeah, I’m a bitch, what else you got? Now do your job better.”