Brickbats
A less-than-stellar week in Aotearoa.
The past is always knocking incessant
Trying to break through into the present
We have to work to keep it out
But I won't be the first to SHOUT it's over
Song: Billy Bragg.
Brickbat
noun
A piece of brick used as a missile.
"he had received a blow with a brickbat"
A critical remark or comment.
"The plaudits were beginning to outnumber the brickbats"
I’m sure you can guess where this newsletter is going…
Where is Christopher Luxon?
There were a lot of absurd conspiracies during COVID, but none so bizarre as the morons who became obsessed with asking, “Where is Clarke Gayford?” Remember those nuts?
The fascination of those folks with connecting dots that weren’t there, despite clearly having eaten all their crayons, and an obsession with Jacinda Ardern’s partner as being some way, any way, of trying to attack her.
Given their interest in missing persons, even those who were never lost, you’d think they might take at least a passing interest in where on earth Christopher Luxon is.
This week was important politically with the RSB submissions, so of course, he was nowhere to be seen. As we learned during the Treaty Principles Bill, when the going gets tough, Christopher flees the scene.
At a time when a bit of leadership might’ve been in order, Christopher buggered off on holiday, despite having just returned from his summer sojourn in Europe, for photo ops in front of WWI graves and manhandling bewildered world leaders.
At first, I thought he was hiding, but lately I’m starting to wonder if Christopher might just be a bit lazy.
Think about it.
He gave himself no portfolios, no areas of responsibility; he wanders around shaking hands and greasing the wheels.
His only role is to manage his team, some of whom have gone so feral that any other leader would’ve sacked them long ago. Given that he buggers off every time Seymour’s about to hit the fan, I started wondering - what does he even do?
The only thing I could come up with was that he enables the neoliberal policies of ACT to be implemented, despite 92% of the population not voting for them. The entirety of his purpose: to smile and wave until Seymour has had his way with us, before receiving an inevitable knighthood.
Have a brickbat, Christopher.
Science with David Seymour.
While the big dog is away, the yappy pup has been reaching new lows, even for him.
Seymour will go down in history alongside Douglas and Richardson as someone who has harmed our society and an enemy of the people of this country. The opposition must be clear next year: A vote for National is a vote for Seymour to set the direction of New Zealand. Luxon isn't even pretending to be PM - when he shows up.
This week, Seymour was utterly obnoxious over the RBS, completely unwilling to engage in discussion, resorting to fourth-form debating tactics to try and make himself look smart to those who had never matured beyond that age.
His interactions with Anne Salmond have been hilarious, one highly intelligent and well-informed, the other, David. If this newsletter were called “Bouquets”, there would undoubtedly be one for Dame Anne.
Then, yesterday, reading the room as usual, our acting Prime Minister decided to do his part to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Rainbow Warrior by advocating for nuclear power. What a guy.
I commented:
Jesus Christ I've seen some stupid takes from the alternate science morons in the ACT party but this takes the f'ing plutonium.
Yes, David, we do use radiology in hospitals, but the technicians leave the room, so they're not exposed. Go ask Marie Curie.
As for the light situation, I reckon yours are on, but there's nobody home.
Now, I’m not necessarily opposed to Nuclear Energy, but even if the risk is low, there is no need to take it. We have ample options for clean, sustainable energy. Why take the risk, especially living on the Pacific Rim with a high propensity for earthquakes - hello, Fukushima?
Other folks commented on Seymour’s nonsense, maybe they should check out Simon Court’s views on Climate Change - sweet baby Jesus, as Bomber Bradbury would say.
Pat: “One uses rays for medical imaging, and the other uses energy from nuclear fusion or fission. They are totally different concepts!!”
Donna: “Holy moly. I book patients for radioactive iodine treatment for thyroid cancer and other thyroid conditions. Do they not think that there are some intensive precautions around this stuff?”
Alan: “Seymour demonstrating to NZ that his ego is greater than his competence and comprehension.”
Irene shared this:
Rachelle: “This may be why David feels threatened by the intellectual academic types.”
Debbie: “He's turning from being a Kiwi version of Trump into our very own Marjorie Taylor Greene...”
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I’d also give a brickbat to the media for their appalling coverage of the RSB, which gave David Seymour far too much prominence, even though he wasn’t saying anything but simply closing questions down.
They’ve also been more obsessed than usual with publishing negative articles on former female MPs, which must make middle-aged white men glad that they never misbehave in a hospitality situation.
Bouquets to everyone who spoke against the RSB. If Christopher Luxon had any interest in what the people of this country want, rather than corporations, he’d probably take note.
Audrey Young gave a bouquet in the NZ Herald, and this week her award…
"…goes to Finance Minister Nicola Willis for planning to discuss the price of cheese, butter and milk with Fonterra CEO Miles Hurrell."
Those specs are so blue-tinted that National gets an award for planning to have a discussion!
Needless to say, Nicola will do sweet FA about price gouging by her former employer. How long do you reckon before someone in the coalition says that the price of butter is Jacinda’s fault? It sounds stupid, but it seems to be their standard response for everything they don’t have an answer to.
So, who do you think deserved a brickbat or a bouquet this week?
I hope you manage to stay dry and warm today and have a great Friday.
Ngā mihi,
Nick.
To finish, "Brickbat" by Billy Bragg, which doesn’t have much to do with today’s newsletter, apart from the title, I just really like it. Saint Billy writes a hell of a love song.
Apparently American defence agencies have admitted that aliens have been walking amongst us for ages. When I look around the world at some of the utterly incompetent fools in charge it's difficult not to join this conspiracy gang. Seymour has to be an alien. There is nothing about this man that resembles any likeness to human traits. The very best compliment would be to conceed he suffers from extreme autism and, notwithstanding he is our defacto PM, should be encouraged to play with his toys on his own. The problem as presented is the more attention David receives the more bizarre his behaviour becomes. Our political landscape is littered with individuals whose minds and critical faculties are still at school, or firmly embedded in the fairy story of biblical rhetoric. Either way the public is being poorly served. As a retired school teacher, if I had behaved or spoken to students or colleagues the way Seymour, Luxon and Peters consistently demonstrate, I would most certainly have been sacked for inappropriate behaviour or conduct likely to bring teaching into disrepute. I admire your ability to remain in the thick of such aboherent behaviour abd remain as optimistic as you do!
Well written Nick...and a bouquet for you for shining such a clear light on this absolute farce of a government. It's like a horror show!