One of the more interesting moments in our media this week occurred when One News asked what a National/ACT government would actually deliver in terms of a coalition. With the polls indicating a 50% likelihood of this combination forming the next government it is pretty important that voters understand what they would be voting for.
In the past ACT have had little leverage, National has had other coalition options NZF, United, the Maori Party and ACT only had a single MP - reality is they were never really needed before.
If the two parties of the right win in 2023, and it seems highly unlikely National could govern alone or would have other viable options, ACT will have something north of 20% of MPs in a coalition.
National would have no option to govern other than with a full coalition agreement with ACT, including some significant concessions. This is not the sort of arrangement National has entered, with only small concessions to very minor partners, since 1996. New Zealand First being the only party that has obtained significant policy concessions from the two major parties under MMP.
People might think they are voting for a National government who will give everyone a tax cut but largely leave services as they are. But wait – there’s more, included at no extra cost will be some policies you might not have even considered. Policies that will set the direction of Aotearoa for years to come and have a lasting impact on the life of New Zealanders for decades.
Imagine the scene 18 months from now…
In breaking news Christopher Luxon has announced his new cabinet and agreed government priorities for the next three years with himself as Prime Minister and David Seymour as his deputy Prime Minister.
The first disgruntled murmurings occur - does that mean when Luxon is away that David Seymour is running the country? Woah, didn’t see that coming.
People who voted to have a PM with a penis but didn’t necessarily connect the dots that they would be getting an actual penis as Deputy Prime Minister.
People who liked the idea of a tax cut and businesses doing better but hadn’t necessarily intended to vote to take a flamethrower to social services.
Seymour may act the clown, the court jester, doing and saying things to entertain but he is anything but a fool. He is there with a singularity of purpose to gain and wield power in the interests of the wealthy benefactors that fund him.
He isn’t there to be a grinning gimp, although if that helps him get votes he’ll do it. “Hi”.
No, he is there to slash taxes to slash government spending and to promote a less egalitarian society. Survival of the fittest, and to the victor the spoils. If those spoils are based on inherited wealth or cronyism rather than merit that is just fine too.
If you vote for National you’ll get a hodgepodge of ACT policies thrown in as a bonus, a symbolic set of steak knives, and some of those policies are pretty wacky.
This week we’ve had the headliner grabber of getting rid of all the touchy-feely ministries. Woman’s affairs, Maori affairs, the department for the promotion of trans-vegan people of colour – all gone by lunchtime.
You not only get to stop wasting your hard earned money paying for these things that good old meritocracy already covers you also get to stick it to all the university educated liberals who look down their noses at you.
So what do ACT want, apart from ensuring Maori don’t receive privileges and there are no limitations on what people can say – especially about Maori? Aside from people having as many guns as they want and doing anything about climate change being a personal choice?
The old familiar refrain from the right is that there is money wasted in government spending that can be cut. ACT say they can cut $6.8 billion dollars of wasteful spending in the first year. That is a lot of waste! Or what the rest of us call '“essential workers”.
It’s like saying you’re going to reduce your household spending without reducing your quality of life because you’re going to stop depositing 10% of your income down the back of the couch.
Whereas National offer the impossible - less tax, lower borrowing, and more on social services, which the media seemingly don’t barely question as not adding up, ACT are at least straight up. Massively lower taxes, reduce borrowing, and a bit of trimming* of social services to make them lean.
* trimmed like a jelly sculpture would be with a chain saw held by a blind folded Brooke Van Velden who has consumed most of a bowl of punch having just been friend zoned by David Seymour. Think the remains of Stalingrad.
What of the talent that the ACT backbench can bring to the cabinet table I hear you ask? It’s not like National are brimming with talent. Certainly there will be roles for a couple of their more well-known members.
Brooke, Minister for Austerity, will be great at telling the poor that rather than the ‘More’ they are asking for they can have ‘Less’, much much ‘Less’.
The sort of society where the safety net is selling plastic flowers, gum, or personal services to regular folks on the side of the road for enough coins to survive another day.
The gun lady, Nicole McKee, can be Minister for “doing whatever the gun lobby has paid for”, and you can’t get freer than that.
Beyond that what Ministerial responsibilities are you going to give to the likes of Chris Baillie, Simon Court, and Damien Smith? A hard call to do anything with them since I just made those names up*, seriously who are those people?
* I didn’t make the names up.
This isn’t an election where we decide between having the blue team for lower taxes and a bit less social spending, or the status quo.
This is about unleashing the yellow monster that would devour all that is decent and civilized in our society so that a few can have enormous wealth, even if they have to enjoy it from behind the closed walls of a gated community.
Those extra guns will come in handy keeping law and order.
From the turrets on the property perimeter. Can you smell the freedom?
So what are you getting if ACT do have a significant role in government, other than agent orange to the public sector?
You are electing Jordan and his pantomime pig.
You are fulfilling the ultimate fantasies of the likes of Cameron Slater for whom National were way to soft on people but were the only viable game in town to channel their harsh fantasies of austerity through.
You are fulfilling the dreams of Prebble, of Hide, of Brash who have been running this project for thirty years in the hope of returning to the glory days of their spiritual father and founder - Roger Douglas.
They were that funny little party that did a deal with National and won Epsom each election to little effect. They’ve been largely harmless waiting for the day when they can fully re-emerge and finish the work of Rogernomics.
Obviously ACT won’t be able to negotiate to deliver everything in their manifesto, but if they get a significant amount of what they want the misery and austerity that would result is unprecedented in this country.
So how do we stop ACT party policies, supported by 7-8% of the population, from damaging our society?
1) Don’t vote for ACT
2) Don’t vote for National
Simple really, and we can all live happily ever after.
The end
You don’t want the alternate ending. Some who harbour leadership ambitions are better suited to being second class technicians.
Another great piece Nick. So true.
Spot on !!