Climate Change Christmas

Is it time to give Santa the heave-ho to save the planet?

We’ll have a climate change Christmas
From now until forever
Warming our hearts and minds
And planet all together
Spirits high and oceans higher
Chestnuts roast on wildfires
If coal is on your wishlist
Merry Climate Change Christmas

Song by Ian McConnell

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Reindeer emissions are not something I’d thought about in terms of climate change. I guess some significant gas must be produced, and I imagine that’s why poor Rudolf was so keen to lead the sleigh. The air is probably considerably fresher upfront than back in the third row behind Donner and Blitzen.

But it’s not the agricultural hot air, this byproduct of Santa’s delivery, that makes Christmas an absolute nightmare when it comes to climate change, which will change that season forever whether we like it or not. It’s us—you and me, and the presents we buy.

The Christmas Carbon footprint

In the UK, the Guardian has analysed and calculated that the emissions produced by additional travel, presents, wrapping paper, decorations, and other assorted junk means the average adult is responsible for 513kg of carbon dioxide for Christmas.

This sounds like an immense amount, and it is; the usual daily average is just 22kg. So, they are causing 23 times the emissions that they normally would at Christmas, nearly an entire month’s worth.

So we’re spending money we can’t really afford on things we mostly don’t need and screwing up our planet in the process. It’s a wonder Santa would bring any of us anything.

Melanie Nazareth, and yes, I did chuckle at the name given that chap some people think about at this time of year, from Christian Climate Action said:

“We have been deliberately sold a vision of Christmas that is based on material consumption. We are constantly bombarded by advertising and media that tells us that if we aren’t spending money on things, we are not doing Christmas properly. This is destroying the whole meaning of Christmas and the planet.

Christmas is a celebration of love and if we love people, if we care about the baby born today, the greatest gift we can give them is a liveable planet.”

Over 93% of the additional emissions were from presents, with the average adult in the UK buying 20 of these for family and friends. The worst offenders were electronics, which accounted for almost half of the emissions related to gifts.

Our culture of buying things and then discarding them is troubling enough. However, with many electronics, we often dispose of perfectly good products for the latest model that essentially does the same thing but is just a bit shinier.

iPhone models over time. Image: https://www.iphonelife.com/

Asad Rehman, the director of War on Want, which campaigns on the climate and poverty, said:

“Corporate giants’ relentless drive for profit over planet or people is pushing millions of ordinary people struggling to feed their families and heat their homes into deeper debt and overconsumption of the planet’s resources.

Yet the main culprits of excessive consumption are the top 1% – who have not only grabbed most of the world’s wealth, but whose carbon footprint is more than the poorest 50% of the world’s population. That is hurtling us towards climate catastrophe, whilst trashing the limited resources of our planet that are critical to protect our societies.”

Ho Ho Ho - indeed.

Image: Befunky.

Dreaming of a White Christmas

Bing Crosby said he was Dreaming of a White Christmas, just like the ones he used to know. Well, you might like to hold that thought, fella.

Of course, it’s not snow season down here in the Southern Hemisphere, and I remember when I was a kid, Billy T James created a more relevant version as he crooned that he was “Dreaming of a White Mistress”. Times were a bit different then.

A warmer climate means more rain and less snow, so all those images of kids with sledges, snowball fights, and rich Americans drinking hot chocolate in small towns where people return to find a mate in awful rom-coms will be considerably less white.

Photo: https://people.com/hallmark-movie-towns-you-can-visit-in-real-life-8760478

Not the small towns, obviously. They’ll remain as white as white can be, but there will be substantially less glistening on branches or sleigh bells in the snow.

According to the Rutgers University Global Snow Lab, “Between 1972 and 2020, the average portion of North America covered by snow decreased at a rate of about 1,870 square miles per year, an area roughly the size of Delaware.”

Santa’s home is melting

This lack of snow is even less convenient if it’s your home, especially considering that the Arctic is warming three times faster than the global average.

Santa’s home is projected to sink into the Arctic Ocean by the end of this century, which might dampen celebrations somewhat.

Rovaniemi is considered the home of Santa by the Finns and has been a tourist draw for those wishing to increase their emissions even further to take their spoiled children thousands of miles to visit a fictional character.

The problem is that at this time of year, it ought to be resplendent in white snow; however, this year, there is drizzle and rain, with temperatures hovering above zero, which sounds more like London than Santa’s Workshop.

Rovaniemi is usually covered in snow, but not so much this year.

It’s bad news for Rudolph, too, as milder winters cause the snow to melt and refreeze, burying the lichen that reindeer eat beneath the ice.

So what do we do?

This is surprisingly easy; we just have to think like the Tim Minchin song. We can keep all the best parts of Christmas, the catching up with family and friends, the white wine in the sun.

But we need to get rid of the gifts - which are the worst aspect of Christmas anyway, depending on the presence or otherwise of drunken, obnoxious right-wing uncles on your festive day.

Think about it: all that shopping, going to malls, wrapping presents, forgetting what the present was and taking the paper off to check and re-wrapping it. That stuff sucks. You don’t spend all year looking forward to that, and let’s be honest, you never get anything you need or want. So, eliminate that part.

We all know that the commercial aspect of Christmas is problematic; it has always harmed the environment and placed financial pressure on families, all so corporations can deceive you into equating the giving of expensive gifts with caring for your loved ones. What a bunch of manipulative bastards!

Throw climate change on top, and it’s pretty unconscionable to keep on giving gifts. I know that all sounds Bah Humbug, but when people say their gift this year is their presence rather than presents, aren’t you just a bit relieved?

So eat, drink, and be merry in moderation, but avoid the malls.

I should add that the above doesn’t apply to small children, homemade gifts, books that will be passed on, or plants. Maybe stay with the current smartphone generation for a few more years—you’ll hardly notice the difference.

Have a lovely holiday time, folks. Eat all the leftovers, wear sunscreen, swim even if you’ve just eaten, and stop wrapping up future landfill in packages nobody wants. You’ll enjoy the time more and save the planet - what’s not to like? 🙂