Do you remember the impressive speeches from the election? National were going to hit the ground running, giving it 110%. They assured us they’d be achieving more in their first hundred days than we could possibly imagine.
Then they went on a very long holiday.
No longer than parliament normally closes down for, but then usually the person in charge isn’t claiming they’d just take a short break, and then get stuck right in.
Back in October when he was asked if other MPs were aware of this Luxon said, “well no disrespect but that's what happens for the rest of the country, New Zealanders...work up till Christmas, they take Christmas break and then they get back into it in the new year. It's very similar here I think."
There was work to do, he said. “New Zealanders voted for change, we've got a lot to get through, if we start earlier and have to finish later, so be it.”
Hurrah! How wonderful to finally have a government that would get things done!
So where are most New Zealanders now? That’s right, they’ve been back at work since last Monday. Two weeks already. And the government?
Well, yesterday and today they’re having a retreat in Christchurch. Except given their liking for changing the names of things they’re not calling the retreat a retreat. No, they’re calling the retreat a “two-day caucus”.
I’m surprised they didn’t call it the “working hard extreme death march”, or something else impressive they could laugh over during the light refreshments. Or even later in the evening over the heavier refreshments.
So in terms of those famous “first hundred days”, well it’s 97 days since the election today, and I’m not sensing that the country is quite back on track just yet.
To be fair after spending an eternity on coalition negotiations the government did have a burst of activity late last year. Even doing some things under urgency. But those weren’t actually achieving things. They were changing names or cancelling things.
Look I’m not saying they’re not capable of running a bath, but the truth is the only evidence we have to date is that they know how to pull the plug out.
The Key government was remembered for capital gains and people sleeping in cars, Ardern’s for Covid and kindness. What will this one be known for?
So far it looks like cancelling things and changing names.
No doubt that will in time be found to merit a knighthood, or two, but is it really what Kiwis were expecting when they voted to get the country, “Back on Track”?
In lieu of being a fly on the wall, and no doubt with the people in the top jobs imploring the others not to leak information, we were initially limited to the comments made from those arriving.
Like new MP Vanessa Weenick who said, “The country needs us to be working well together and we will.” So that was reassuring. Bit of a come down from all the promises of working 24/7 but, “working well together” is a good start. No doubt an old stand by of teachers writing reports, who can’t think of anything the student has actually done.
Chris Bishop said, “it's all about public service and staying humble and working really hard.” Sage advice to the newcomers from, to quote Churchill, “a humble man with much to be humble about”.
Speaking of the recent election Bishop said “There's always things you can do better... we want to win in 2026 as well. There's only two and half years to go.” Easy there tiger, you might want to get a few runs on the board in the first innings before you start worrying about the second!
Sensitive to the situation over the Green MP’s departure, Police Minister Mark Mitchell, when asked about the mental health of MPs and Ghahraman in particular, said “exercise and a good diet goes a long way to helping with mental health”.
There you go kiddies, listen to Dr Maybelline. Apparently an apple a day, keeps the shoplifting at bay.
In the early afternoon there was a public speech, with Finance Minister Nicola Willis warming the crowd up for the boss. She noted that this time last year they were 34 and now they are 49! Which sounded like their position in an Air NZ phone queue.
She spoke of leader Christopher Luxon, and of being focussed on the people they are there to represent and their needs.
I wondered who those people were. Not really, we all know who those people are.
She spoke of Luxon having a great conviction for getting things done. Which was a bit worrying as he seems to make a habit of forgetting things that he supposedly has convictions about. Like his religion, and what he stands for seems quite fluid.
Nicola looked moved, or maybe the morning pastries were sitting heavily. She gushed over how she’d been saying a year ago that New Zealand needed someone who would “get things done”.
Good Lord Nikki, we get it! He’s the guy that gets things done. At some point do you think we could actually stop saying he is, and start seeing he is?
Luxon came to the stage telling his applauding caucus, I assume that’s who the group of middle aged pakeha men in suits were, that they were being too kind. To be fair, being kind is probably not something they’re encouraging, what with their new Ministers readying to compete over who can make the most cuts.
The Prime Minister was looking pretty stylish in a black open necked shirt. He kept the backslapping going, saying of Nicola, “how awesome is she”, as if she’d just brought the boys a cold beer and a salty snack.
Christopher said “she’s right at the front end of this whole problem we’re going to sort out”, in mock bloke speak. As if temporarily thinking he was back at Air NZ and providing an update on reattaching an engine.
Addressing his team he said “welcome back to work”, acknowledging they’d all had a great break - goodness is there anything these people do that isn’t great?
He said “we’re going to go hard in parliament… and we’re looking ahead to delivering a set of deliverables that will help our vision of New Zealand take root and come to pass”. It certainly is all about delivering those deliverables, but he kind of lost me at the whole “come to pass” bit. Sounds like maybe he didn’t lose his religion completely after all.
Luxon said he couldn’t be more committed, couldn’t be more determined, couldn’t be more motivated, to lead the government. I wondered if someone had told him the job interview was over. You won buddy, now stop telling us how hard you’re going to work, and actually do some work.
Again he repeated that his team have the opportunity to make their vision take root. I’m not entirely sure what Luxon’s vision is, but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it referred to as being the root of all evil. More to the point for goodness sake stop campaigning and start doing. I’d say less hui more do-ey, but well you know.
He then read out a list of things they’d undone to date. All the programmes they cancelled before Christmas, like Fair Pay Agreements. He described that cancellation, which will make the lives of many working people harder, as “fantastic”. His team applauding as if they were Bullingdon Boys burning notes of large denominations in the faces of homeless people.
The speech was very heavy on blaming the last government for everything, and very light on detail of how they’re going to, as Christopher put it, “turn it around”.
Still at least we now know that we need to change direction before we can get things back on track, so that’s progress. Although then he started talking about “going forward” again, and I wasn’t really sure, given the need to go the other way, whether he should be saying “going backwards”.
Hmm maybe there was a reason they didn’t run with the slogan “changing direction and going backwards”, although it would’ve been a good description of their approach to race relations.
Eventually he did acknowledge it was now their job, not the last government who were voted out 97 days ago. Back before the long Christmas holidays and the interminable coalition negotiations.
Luxon said, “it’s our job now to face up to reality, to give Kiwis hope, to lead New Zealand to a much better place, a more prosperous place, a more positive place, actually with a very good plan.”
So did he launch into what the plan was? No, he went back to slagging the last government off. Then reiterated that they’d be “turning things around” and would be “relentlessly focussed on getting things done”. I sensed that there was some sort of theme in play.
He declared that they would “stay focussed on their mantra”. Hmm I didn’t know they had one of those.
Wrapping up he reminded his MPs that getting elected was not an end in itself. “The reason we come to public life, the reason we go through election campaigns is not just to get elected. It’s actually to come to government to go do something.” I wondered if Bishop was listening, and also whether Luxon might’ve possibly mentioned this earlier in his speech than at the end.
Overall it felt like a campaign speech, focussing almost entirely on telling us how badly the last lot did. Just like the campaign speeches there was no detail of how National was going to actually fix the problems.
I really hope in their closed door sessions that there are a lot fewer campaign slogans, meaningless corporate buzzwords, and blaming of the other team.
This country actually has some pretty serious problems, and the outlook isn’t great. Might be time to take the hands out of the pockets Christopher, roll the sleeves up, and actually get to work. Rather than just talking about it.
Usually this newsletter would’ve contained a paywall but it’s free to all thanks to the generosity of subscribers who paid a bit more so others could read it too. You’re most welcome to share it however you’d like. 🙂
If you’re in a position where you could contribute $7.99 per month, or $85 for a year, to help fund Nick’s Kōrero. Or if you’d simply like to join the mailing list. Then please click “subscribe now” for those options.
I wonder if one of the senior team might’ve given this one a go at the karaoke last night? My money would be on Chris Bishop, giving it the full David Brent.
Alas for this lot, it's not about doing the right thing for all people in Aotearoa, it's all about power and retaining it . I don't think any of them could articulate what their Vision for the future actually is.
Obliterating much of the good work done by the previous govt is not "getting things done." However - sadly - talk to a Nat supporter and you will be told that Luxon has already done much more than Labour ever did... and how sanctimonious is Mark Mitchell re diet and exercise!