Folding Chairs
The winners and losers in Luxon’s reshuffle.
#UPDATE - Since this one is being shared quite a bit, I’m going to open it up. Thanks so much to my subscribers for their support.
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Come and open up your folding chair next to me
My feet are buried in the sand, and there's a breeze
There's a shadow, you can't see my eyes
And the sea is just a wetter version of the skies
Songwriters: Regina Spektor.
So Big Chief Luxon has made his reshuffle, but what if the problem wasn’t the passengers’ seating positions as much as it was the driver going the wrong way?
Following a rumoured meeting of the inner circle last weekend, the Prime Minister announced a reshuffle on Thursday. As Mr Luxon rearranged the furniture, while the music played, people wondered who would get the naughty chair and who would be promoted to the captain’s table.
Needless to say, the PM without portfolio didn’t assign himself any responsibilities, but with senior Ministers Collins and Reti retiring, he had plenty of work to allocate to others, which is apparently his area of expertise.
Promoting Talent.
My initial reaction to Thursday’s announcement was one of bemused surprise, and I posted:
How shallow is National’s talent pool? They’ve promoted Penny Simmonds to cabinet, and Goldsmith is Minister of Pacific Peoples!
It really says something about the diversity in National’s ranks that Paul Goldsmith, perhaps the whitest man in New Zealand, is to be Minister of Pacific Peoples.
While National previously claimed Matua Goldsmith to be of Māori heritage, no such absurdity exists here; this is an admission that they lack diversity, in accordance with their list selections.
Shona commented, “What a joke... Goldsmith has got to be one of the most racist ferrets in the country! Horrible human, that he is!” This is a man who had te reo greetings removed from official Matariki invitations.
Peter wrote, “Bugger me....Goldsmith as Minister for Pacific Peoples sounds less appropriate than Luxon appointing himself Minister for Hairdressers & Barbers.”
As for the new Minister of Tertiary Education and also of Science, Innovation and Technology, I can only assume that the elevation of Penny Simmonds had more to do with loyalty to Luxon than with any ability to do the job. It wasn’t so long ago that she was demoted over her handling of the disability funding debacle.
Irene noted, “Penny is an appalling pick. I find her performance in the house stilted and underwhelming.”
Punishing Bishop.
The media narrative has been that this reshuffle was less about replacing Collins and Reti and more about punishing Chris Bishop, who gains the important role of Attorney-General but loses the positions of Associate Sport Minister, Campaign Chair, and Leader of the House.
Bishop tried to put on a brave face, claiming unconvincingly that his new role was a childhood dream. But whether he is willing to admit this is a demotion is irrelevant; it clearly marginalises his role in both the house and the campaign, and it is hard not to believe it is a move of revenge by Luxon for a considered coup that neither of them will admit took place.
Mind you, I had a twinge of sympathy for the bloke watching the reports.
I posted:
I’m no fan of Chris Bishop, but I thought the report from Maiki Sherman on 1 News was a ridiculous beat-up.
Did we really need to see Bishop in a moment of private conversation over a long lens, or Maiki chasing him down the hill, barking “yes or no”?
Paddy said, “She is very quickly becoming another Jessica Mutch McKay,” although I find her more sensationalist than outright biased like her predecessor.
David dryly noted, “‘Maiki Sherman’ and ‘beatup’ in the same sentence? In other news, water is wet.”
Raewyn commented, “Luxon is doing such a bad job, I think Bishop and Meager recognise the terrible situation. Do I care? Nah! Is Luxon suitable for PM nah! The cost will be National losing the election. Think Meager had a better show.”
MP James Meager used to be a staffer in Chris Bishop’s office and is rumoured to have been the numbers man in the aborted coup, perhaps explaining why he was passed over for what appears to be inferior talent.
Next, a couple of men you should never use the word “aborted” in front of…
Simeon’s crusade.
The big winner here was Simeon Brown, who became campaign chair, suggesting we’ll see the same approach at the election that Brown has taken with health, declaring that everything is fine, even though it’s clear to anyone who interacts with our health system that this is definitely not the case.
The promotion is a slap in the face of the Kiwi public, with Simeon struggling in the Health portfolio and now picking up the energy job during a crisis, as well as the campaign chair. It suggests he’ll be doing even less to sort out healthcare.
Where Bishop is firmly on the liberal side of National’s broad church, Simeon Brown sits across the aisle and is strongly conservative on social issues, as was Luxon before he chose to downplay his beliefs.
Appointing Brown to run the campaign is an interesting move from a party that has already done much to alienate groups that may find Simeon’s views disturbing and out of place in a modern secular society. This weasel liked a Facebook post by Simon O'Connor declaring it a "good day" after the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.
Chris Penk, another fundie who is anti-euthanasia, anti abortion rights and pro-conversion therapy, has been promoted to the roles of Minister of Defence, the spy agencies, and Space, which only adds to the lurch away from the moderate Bishop.
Maybe Bishop will take his medicine and bide his time, but that would only make sense if he thinks they’re going to lose. Or perhaps the next poll will be the one that causes him to enact his revenge.
The Easter break will certainly give Bishop time to plan his resurrection. As for Mr Luxon, if he really thought he had his caucus's confidence, he wouldn’t have done this; it looks defensive and weak.
There is still plenty of time for a change in leader if things don’t improve, and we’ll see more of Mr Bishop, whereas the sad truth is that I don’t think Luxon, mediocre as his performance has been, has any more to offer than what we’ve already seen.
We got to know him, folks - and that is all there is.
Have a good Saturday, all you lovely people, and a relaxing long weekend.
Ngā mihi,
Nick.
To end today, here is Regina Spektor with “Folding Chair”
If this one reaches 100 likes by early afternoon, I'll open it up.
Penk was fortunate to get Minister of Space, there are many space cadets in the caucus awaiting their chance to lift off