How Does A Duck Know?
Nobody expects a third Covid Inquisition.
When everything seems planned out
When everything seems nicely planned out
Well the human race come and smack your face
Songwriter: Brad Roberts.
Nicola’s got nothing.
Today, Nicola Willis will give a speech at the New Zealand Economics Forum, but at the last moment, she realises she has nothing to show or tell them. Like the kid at the science fair without a project, except that would never have been her.
And now she has to fend off these ridiculous allegations that imposing a mandatory charge on the public for an LNG terminal was a tax. The very idea, everyone knows the National Party doesn’t introduce taxes.
As for that bloody phrase “if it looks like a duck…” it has been an unwelcome visitor in her dreams, and she’s sure she caught some backbenchers quacking behind her back. She frowned at the thought; she’d give them something to bloody quack about.
A mild panic set in: there were no green shoots, no new jobs, no money for services, and no reduction in the cost of living; it was foul-tasting medicine, and people didn’t seem to like it.
The Finance Minister longed for those glorious days at the end of 2023, when she could blame anything on Labour, and people would lap it up. They’d had enough of kindness and were oh so ready for some Tough Love, but lately all they did was complain and say things were worse than before.
Nicola threw hands in the air and waved them about a bit like the inflatable figures outside a used car lot, “Argghhh, nothing we’re doing is working—time for round three of blaming Labour for throwing the economy under Covid.”
She felt a bit bad about it; nobody wants to put a price on a human life - well, except for Brooke van Velden, obviously, but there was an election to win.
Stefan wrote, “MAGA NZ is starting their dirty tactics. Misinformation and lies, hoping to suck in the gullible ones again. Don’t forget: a half-truth is a whole lie.”
Annemarie commented, “I can hear the cookers sizzling from here!”
When the going got tough, Nicola pointed the finger at Labour, or better yet, the Reserve Bank, because they couldn’t fight back.
Besides, if things went really pear-shaped, she might need leverage to encourage them to drop their rates, to make things look better, at least until the votes have been cast.
