Is That All There Is?

"You promised the moon and delivered a muddy puddle."

Is that all there is
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends
Then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

Songwriters: Jerry Leiber / Mike Stoller

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Did you ever feel great anticipation only to have your excitement crushed by something seriously underwhelming?

You thought it was going to be fantastic, that’s what the people advertising it promised, and yet when the moment arrives you’re left with that feeling - is that all there is?

Like when the National Party tell you they’ve got John Key 2.0 but it turns out to be a pale imitation with a limited range of catch phrases and a lack of even passable sincerity.

Or when said second rate messiah tells you to check your bank account to see if it was all worth it. Let’s see how that went as the second coming of Key unveiled the holiest of National Party holies - the divine tax cuts that true believers have been awaiting:

Last night the Prime Minister took to social media. Well, let’s be honest it was probably one of his team of seven paid helpers - leaving him free to gurn on TikTok. On Facebook and Twitter his account boastfully encouraged the nation to check their bank accounts.

A mood that was either bold or grotesquely tone deaf depending on your point of view, your employment status, and perhaps your bank balance. It’s fair to say that the appreciation was not universal.

How’s the relief?

Some tried to put a brave face on things, although it was still possible to detect a note of dissatisfaction at the size of the PM’s package and the amount of relief it delivered.

Catt said, “$5.00. I am so relieved I can't stand it...”, in a delightful piece of kiwi understatement.

Pazienza said, “$4.30 fortnight. Pensioner. Rates up because of cancelled 3 Waters. I have to find $53.53 per fortnight for rates from a fixed income. That will mean cuts to food spend. Going backwards.”

Oh dear.

Going Backwards doesn’t sound as good as getting Back on Track, does it? Although perhaps it would’ve reduced confusion, decreased the likelihood of buyer’s remorse and unhappy faces on Christmas morning if they’d been a bit more upfront in their slogan last year?

National - most will go backwards, but some will make out like bandits.

Is it in yet?

As things stand some people weren’t sure if it was even in yet, so to speak. Like Jay who said, “Buddy I’m struggling to find it amongst the groceries, power, medical and rates bills. Reckon I might find a bigger bonus under the couch cushions.”

Or Jane who was underwhelmed on behalf of a friend…

“My friend is on a low wage. Gets $3. Doesn't mean to sound ungrateful but finds that hard to celebrate given its dwarfed by the everything else going up. Not the $250 your election pledge promised. That's the reality. You promised the moon and delivered a muddy puddle.”

Is that it?

Beyond those who were simply unimpressed at the size of Luxon’s offering others bordered on sarcasm in their dismissal.

Like Gazza who said, “Yes, thanks for the $2.50, it'll go a long way towards my 25% council rates increase, 62% regional council rates increase and 20% insurance increases across the board.”

Or John who said, “$2.33 per week. Wow, I am sooooo excited. In three weeks I’ll be able to afford a trim flat white, unless of course the price goes up in the meantime.” Poor John, if only he realised that $2.33 per week was more than enough to subscribe to something far more fulfilling than a monthly flat white.

He said modestly.

Susan said, “I did $2.50 a week. Thanks Chris. My power, rates, insurance and food prices have all increased. Your pathetic tax cut is a joke. I see your smug face, getting paid to do SFA and claim benefits. Congratulations you are on the way to creating record no's homelessness and poverty.”

Bilbo, in a less than Tolkien fashion, said “I checked, and it was fuck-all, you grifter. And you borrowed 14 billion to fund it! Meanwhile rates are up 20% because you abandoned 3 waters for the racists.”

I lost my job for this?

But if those people appeared ungrateful at the meagreness of Luxon’s offering they had nothing on those who seemed dissatisfied at having done so much to enable the tax cuts through the sacrifice of their jobs.

Their very livelihoods, which Luxon and Willis made the hard decision to cut and cut and cut until they struggled to distinguish between their own fake tears and the flood of blood left by the corpse of the public service post their enthusiastic butchering.

Like 2Covet who said, “No, nothing, because there's no tax break for those made redundant by your govt's policy. But, hey, I did, of course, receive your huge new EV road user charges and vehicle registration, oh, plus the increases in electricity, rates, water, food, and insurance so more GST for you.”

Someone called ‘G’ said, “I can’t… you took away my & 1000’s of other people’s jobs to appease your dumb fuck supporters & I have no income - hence, I’d rather see all of you in #NationalsChaoticCoalition lose your fucking jobs”

Teebee simply said, “I got made redundant so no tax cut for me”, which rather put Luxon’s gloating into perspective.

Thanks, but was this the best use for the money?

Kiwis are a pretty positive bunch so some said they were grateful, even if they expressed doubts that this was the right thing overall.

Theincrediblehug said, “$30 less tax for the fortnight. Am grateful, however the $600-$800 per fortnight of pay equity that you continue to withhold from caregivers would make a far greater difference to my family. You’ve got us all at crisis point. #payfairforcare #health”

CrazzyJan said, “$1.50 a week. I would rather you had kept it and fed some poor child who goes to school hungry. Stop crowing about your tax cuts, you are an embarrassment. What sort of reception did Willis get today in Timaru? Sorry I wasn't there.”

A sentiment echoed by H Dawg, “Your pathetic ‘tax relief’ doesn't begin to pay for the increases in mortgage interest, rates, public transport, food prices, energy costs, etc. Keep your fucking token bullshit and feed schoolchildren or pay nurses.”

There was a tax cut?

Others said they received nothing at all. Some even called the coalition a rude word that began with the letter ‘c’, and it wasn’t competent, courageous, or even compos mentis - but there’s no pleasing some people eh?

Like Casper Allan who I’m sure spoke with similar sentiments to many, “Interestingly, I got nothing, nadda, fuck all. My wife got enough for…wait for it…an extra takeaway coffee - a fortnight. How much ‘relief’ are you getting, Mr I don’t care? You’re a pathetic liar.”

Reality Estate said, “Lost before it even arrived on increases in public transport bus fares. Now what? The country is crumbling under the most hated government since Muldoon.”

What about you? Did you receive a tax cut? Did it make up for all the other things the government has done? Or did it just leave you asking - is that all there is?