Mark Mitchell - Mercenary Man.

Just don't ask what he did in the war.

Before Mark Mitchell was known for not being able to keep to the official party line on police numbers. Even further back, before Mitchell’s brainfart that he could stop the gangs by making them wear makeup over their tattoos. Back before he was even an MP, Mark Mitchell was a mercenary.

A hired gun, someone prepared to take part in war not in defense of a country or an idea, but for money. Someone willing to put their life on the line, and if necessary to take the lives of others, for a paycheck.

But that isn’t the controversy here. Nope, killing people for a private company, rather than fighting under the flag of a nation is legal - apparently. I guess there must be a law somewhere that says mercenaries can kill people, without being held accountable for their actions.

Look, to be fair it’s not like Mitchell has done something serious, like get a tattoo!

No, the controversy here is in the talking about it. Truth being the first casualty of war and all that. For goodness sake even Basil Fawlty knew not to mention the war!

Now you might be wondering what on earth I’m talking about. It’s fair to say that with the sudden passing of Efeso Collins last Wednesday that some things that morning, which would’ve been heavily covered otherwise, fell out of the newscycle after barely receiving their first spin.

Anyway.

So Mark Mitchell and Ginny Andersen appeared on the Mike Hosking programme that morning, where they were chatting about Grant Robertson’s resignation before the talk moved to careers before politics.

Much as Luxon might’ve been asked about Air NZ, or Jacinda about working in a Fish and Chip shop.

Except Ginny didn’t ask Mark how many people had flown while he was CEO, or how many bags of the nation’s favourite takeaway Jacinda had sold from the deep fryer. No, not our Ginny - she asked Mitchell whether he’d kept a tally of the people he’d killed when he was a mercenary.

Despite Mitchell having fought in war zones as a perfectly legal commercial service, he was surprisingly shy about his exploits.

There has been quite a bit of outrage over that line of questioning, and Ginny’s claim that Mitchell had been “paid to kill people”. Although to be fair those who are outraged often seem to be that way.

Unbeknownst to me, and presumably Ginny, we’re apparently working on the basis of “Don’t Ask - Don’t Tell”. Silence is golden when it comes to MPs that earned their daily bread as soldiers for hire and asking how many people they may, or may not, have killed. It’s simply not polite to ask.

“He gets paid to kill people,” Andersen told Newstalk ZB. “He made a really good company, which he sold, that he gets paid to pretty much shoot people to secure supply lines.” 

Mitchell said Andersen's comments were outrageous and she should apologise. Andersen replied that she was allowed to have views. Something about free speech. A freedom that the right cares for greatly - when it’s them doing the talking.

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Personally I don’t have an issue with Ginny’s questions, I’ve heard far worse things from other politicians recently. But I understand that they were probably a bit more direct than the patsy questions Mitchell would’ve been anticipating on the Mike Hosking show.

You know the drill..

“So Mark, can you tell me just what makes National so bloody awesome, what’s your special sauce mate?”

“Very good very good, now Ginny why are Labour so goddamn awful and is it true that the caucus has started sacrificing a newborn each full moon. Where are you getting the babies from Ginny? Will you resign?”

Chris Hipkins said later “I think Ginny went too far with her comments, I don’t agree with all of her comments either. And she’s apologised for them.” Ginny had apologised, directly to Mitchell via txt message. But was that enough for the Mercenary Man? Was it bollocks!

Image: Newshub.

“I don't feel that's the right way to apologise about something like that,” said the wounded ex-combatant. So what would you prefer Mark? A Cersei Lannister style walk of shame?

Hmm probably not a good plan to give National any ideas. Not that they need any encouragement when it comes to attacking and demeaning female opposition MPs. It’s practically been their calling card since Luxon became leader.

To be fair Mitchell deserves some praise after solving the whole gang problem yesterday by banning them from wearing their patches, using branding, or gathering in public. Such a brilliant and innovative strategy, it’s genius!

You’d think someone else might’ve thought of it earlier. Well done Mr Plod!

An artist’s rendition of the Minister.

Labour’s Justice spokesman, Duncan Webb, did rain on his parade though by pointing out that, “This is a superficial policy that adds little if anything to existing powers and even worse, the evidence shows it doesn’t work to reduce gang activity and intimidation.”

There was a bit of discussion on my page following Mitchell’s stellar performance on the Sunday programme last night…