Nick's Awards - 2024
A little good, a whole lot of bad, and plenty of ugly.
Leave your office, run past your funeral
Leave your home, car, leave your pulpit
Join us in the streets where we
Join us in the streets where we
Don't belong, don't belong
Here under the stars
Throwing light…
Song: Jeffery Buckley
Today, I’ll discuss the standout politicians of the last 12 months. Each party will receive three awards, and then there’s one more for the Politician of the Year.
Beginning in alphabetical order with…
ACT
For a party built on the ideal of survival of the fittest, the ACT caucus included many MPs with little ability in or knowledge of their chosen fields. Woeful was the word for the also-rans, including:
Todd Stephenson’s disinterest in the arts, a dismal distraction from his role as a pharmaceutical lobbyist.
Simon Court’s determined ignorance of climate change.
Mark Cameron for services to angry gammon everywhere.
Given this is ACT, we should concentrate on those at the top, so onto the awards...
David Seymour - the Jacinda Ardern Arrogant Prick Award (Lifetime Achievement).
Jesus Christ, where do you even start with David Seymour? When he wasn’t replacing healthy school lunches with low-quality crap or defending the mass murder of civilians in Gaza, he was seeking to undo fifty years of progress on race relations and treaty issues - just to win some votes.
Seymour is too smart to actually believe the garbage he spouts about Māori privilege and honouring the treaty being akin to apartheid. In fact, the only people more disappointing than David himself this year have been those who buy into his idiotic arguments, which have all the nuance of a fourteen-year-old trolling online.
Sadly, there is a ripe vein of racist ignorance, and Seymour, with his Treaty Principles Bill, has a wedge issue that he can widen and exploit for decades to come. Forcing National to balance the defence of their right flank with giving the illusion that they are somehow centrist on the other.
Brooke van Velden - the Ayn Rand Award for Vampire Economics.
This year, Ms van Velden was in the limelight, as opposed to direct sunlight, for obvious reasons: her focus has been on making health and safety, holiday pay, and wage increases much easier… for employers. While undermining and devaluing workers, unions, and those earning minimum wage.
Party Leader Seymour might have started the year as a cold-hearted sociopath with no regard for others, but Brooke said, “Hold my beer,” and has struck multiple blows for mean girls and bosses against ordinary working people. The deputy leader has had a stellar year, unhindered by any lack of understanding or empathy on her part.
Nicole McKee - the Big Guns Award.
This year, McKee showed she has come to parliament for one reason only, and it has nothing to do with everyday New Zealanders. Not unless they happen to get shot as a result.
Nicole’s purpose is to advance the interests of gun owners and gun club members by any means possible, without regard for public safety or police efforts to track weapons.
Greens
I’ve written previously about the terrible year the Greens had, with James Shaw stepping down in January, Efeso Collins's tragic passing in February, Marama Davidson revealing her battle with cancer in June and the ongoing fallout from the careers of Golriz Ghahraman and Darleen Tana. However, there were still some bright moments…
Chlöe Swarbrick - the Robinson Crusoe Award.
I nearly gave Chlöe my Politician of the Year. Considering what the party has been through this year, her leadership, strident attacks holding the government to account, and inspiring words have been phenomenal.
When Jacinda Ardern resigned, I found comfort in the fact that Chlöe was still there. She is another person of such strength and decency that she makes you feel optimistic and trusting of politicians—which is very rare. I dearly hope she reaches a position of significant power before walking away.
Chlöe isn’t like other politicians. She asks people to think beyond the possible outside the limits of party politics and the rules and traditions that others adhere to. Hear her speak, and you will believe that real change for the betterment of our people and planet is possible—and she does it all without an ounce of self-interest.
The contrast with every single member of the coalition parties is stark and depressing.
Julie Anne Genter - The Back on Ya Bike Award.
After altercations with a government minister, during which pamphlets were shaken, and with a florist who believes that the customer is generally wrong and it doesn’t pay to give them an inch, Julie Anne has been on a cycleway of redemption.
Fortunately for Ms Genter, she is a Wellington-based MP focused on transport, so the coalition has provided her ample opportunity for just that, as you can hear in this clip with the chaps at BHN from last month:
Tamatha Paul - The Championing the Regions Award.
The Greens are well supported in urban electorates like Auckland and Wellington Central, but that support drops significantly when you get out to the regions. Places where the locals can be rather scornful of the Tree-Hugging, EV-driving, Vegan types many assume Greenies to be.
Having grown up in the provinces and knowing that part of the world, I was delighted to see Tokoroa-born Tamatha involved in efforts to save jobs at the Kinleith Mill in her hometown - not exactly standard territory for the Greens.
Labour
Given the low of the election result last October, the Labour Party have been outstanding in opposition. There were too many strong performers to name; my three awards were as follows:
Dr Ayesha Verrall - the Do No Harm Award.
In a year where Health Minister Dr Shane Reti stood idly by as his government promoted tobacco products, underfunded health, had to be cajoled into keeping Cancer Drug promises and reneged on a hospital for Dunedin, Dr Verrall looked like someone who actually cared about the health of Kiwis.
She was passionate and well-informed, and I cannot think of anyone who would make a better Minister of Health. The sooner that happens, the better for all of us, not least health workers, who are wonderful, caring professionals but who are also under-resourced as the coalition clamours to reduce funding.
Barbara Edmonds - a Voice of Reason Award.
In direct contrast to Nicola Willis, Barbara comes across as down-to-earth, modest, and willing to listen. She clearly cares about people—just like that bloke who was in the shoes before her.
Engaging, open, and well-versed in business. The sooner Edmonds can clean up Willis’ house of cards, the better because right now, Nicola appears to be playing Pickup 52.
Kieran McAnulty - a Good Keen Man Award
I’ll leave this one to Carol, who commented on my page saying of McAnulty, “He comes across as an honest and very truthful guy. The contrast between him and Chris Bishop is like night and day. I love it when he comes up against that git.”
National
A few dishonourable mentions first:
Andrew Bayly for being obnoxious, drunk on the job, and then lying about it.
Simeon Brown for increasing speed limits, which will inevitably add to the number of road deaths.
Mark Mitchell: too much talking, not enough police walking the beat. Silly gimmicks and gormless grins as crime continues unabated.
And to the awards…
Chris Luxon - the Captain Custard Award.
The PM will surely be remembered as the weakest negotiator in MMP history, following the revelation during his end-of-year interview on Q&A that the Treaty Principles Bill wasn’t even an ACT bottom line. The bill's progress has tested his leadership and found it sorely lacking.
Throughout the year, his waffly non-communication, trite catchphrases, ridiculous social media, putting his hands on foreign leaders who look like they’d rather he wouldn’t, and out-of-touch utterances have been a horror show.
Nicola Willis - the Annus Horribilis Award.
The debacle with the ferries, driving the economy into a ditch, austerity measures damaging our public services, 50,000 more unemployed - how anyone could consider Nicola Willis to have had anything less than a disaster of a year is beyond me.
You’d have to be a sycophantic shill or a lunatic. Fortunately for Willis, a few of the former are still around. Unfortunately for Nicola, her tendency to blame everyone but herself is starting to wear thin I suspect.
Louise Upston - The Just Try Harder Award.
Louise showed a complete lack of compassion, delivering with a look of bewilderment as if she could scarcely believe the cruelty of her own actions.
Minister Upston is following in the traditions of Jenny Shipley and Paula Bennett by punching down unnecessarily; one can only assume to win favour with the more hardline National supporters who enjoy seeing beneficiaries given a good kicking even when no jobs are available.
NZ First
The less said about their back benchers the better, we’ll go straight to the awards:
Winston Peters - the Not My First Rodeo Award.
You have to give the old dog some credit for consistency; he has behaved as he always does. He negotiated to hold the deputy PM role first and has generally been a mature statesman, playing nicely with others, except when winding up the press.
This leaves him nicely set up for his standard second-half effort: increasing demands on his primary partner, public disagreements, hand grenades lobbed in the direction of his own side to score points, and the possibility of forcing an early election.
Chris Hipkins saw that one coming a mile off, whereas Christopher Luxon walked out into traffic looking the wrong way, probably because he’d spent too much time in the States and had no appreciation of our history.
Shane Jones - Services to Mining.
Jones echoed Trump’s anti-establishment message despite having spent decades racking up all sorts of expenses on the taxpayers’ credit card. He is belligerent, snarling at scientists and other informed people, and he bent so far backwards to accommodate vested interests that it’s fortunate his puku provides a counterweight.
This man should not be anywhere near power. Speaking of…
Casey Costello - Services to Tobacco.
The fact that Casey Costello remains a minister after her refusals to answer questions clearly, the pseudo-industry science, and a dubious change that benefitted the tobacco industry and will cost Kiwi lives is another stain on Luxon’s record and tells you all you need to know about NZ First in 2024.
Te Pāti Māori
The party of the year, no question. They raised their profile, their poll numbers, and even the size of the Māori roll with standout performances:
Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke - the Whole World’s Watching Award.
The haka seen by millions, the tearing in half of that hated bill, so symbolic of opposition as the hikoi culminated. Inspiring to many and frightening to others; I have been hugely impressed by Hana’s maturity and well-considered words in interviews this year.
Eru Kapa-Kingi's stupendous effort in organising the hikoi was remarkable, but movements also need unlikely heroes and special moments that live in the memory, and Hana provided those.
Rawiri Waititi - the Tell Us What You Really Think Award
If David Seymour or Christopher Luxon were unsure what people thought about their bill, they were in luck. Rawiri told them clearly and directly while helpfully asking after the contents of their scrota.
I still chuckle thinking of Waititi’s words for David Seymour to the crowd that day outside Parliament at the end of the hikoi, a powerful presence from a strong leader.
Debbie Ngarewa-Packer - the Class Act Award.
Ngarewa-Packer has of course opposed policies that harm Māori and, in fact, all New Zealanders. She has also shown positive intent working constructively with the other opposition parties, and I could easily see her in a senior ministerial role in the next government.
Kirsty commented on my page: “She has done an amazing job at engaging and keeping people informed. She has the calm clarity to get a great message across every time. I found her how-to submissions live super informative. She's called the bad guys to account and holds them to their underhandedness. I have a huge amount of respect for her.”
Politician of the Year - Chris Hipkins
You didn’t think I’d forget Chippy, did you?
After last year's election, I thought it was unlikely that Chris Hipkins would lead Labour into the next one.
Not because he’d done anything wrong; I struggle to think of anything significant he did wrong while Prime Minister or as a Minister. More so, it’s common for a defeated leader to be replaced during the next cycle by a fresh leader who can leave the baggage of the past behind.
Some things could’ve been done differently regarding the policy package presented to the electorate in 2023. Still, I don’t believe that any promise or politician could realistically have led Labour to victory in that post-COVID election.
Slowly and surely, though, Chippy has eased back into the spotlight, and I have been hugely impressed by his honesty and intellect. The more I listen, the more I think - that’s the guy to lead the Labour Party to victory in 2026.
People will remember Chloe’s end-of-year speech and Christopher Luxon’s interview with Jack Tame, but to me, the interview Chippy did on BHN was equally impressive. His relaxed openness showed a decent man who cares about all the people in Aotearoa, and right now, that sounds pretty damn appealing.
That’s not to say there aren’t others who couldn’t do the job, but with the way Chippy is going, I imagine there is little appetite to replace him. When you consider where he was this time a year ago, that’s quite an achievement.
Good on you Chippy!
I want to wish you lovely people a very happy and safe New Year. I’m incredibly grateful for all your support and encouragement during 2024. Thank you so very much for making this possible.
I’ll be back in a day or so with some predictions. If you haven’t subscribed, then today and tomorrow, I’m offering a New Year special so you can save 25% on a subscription for 2025. It would be great to have you on board.
To end, a mesmerising piece, New Year’s Prayer, by Jeff Buckley. It’s hard not to wonder what he might’ve done if he’d lived longer, gone at just 30.
I agree mostly with your selections, Nick. The one gloomy area of Labour’s policies is no firm plan to radically overhaul our tax system.
I spent Christmas Day with our super rich relatives. Fortunately, politics was off the agenda. However, the older members, us excluded, have benefited hugely from Willis’s tax refunds.
But it was very noticeable that the younger members have not as school fees, cost of living & mortgage increases bites hard.
Those with no children yet are in Australia. I did ask if they were likely to come back and the answer was uniformly ’No!’
Why? Less job opportunities, lower pay & higher cost of living!
And do the older members of the family care? If they do, it doesn’t show.
I am appalled.
Well done Nick. Even cynical me can't disagree with that assessment.
Special mention could be made of speaker Brownlee. I still have a wry smile of the vision of his po face during Hana's Haka