This was a rough week for the misinformation mob what with getting all they wanted, no more traffic lights, an end to mandates, nothing left to complain about - just awful. What would they do now?
They considered becoming Survival Preppers for life after the removal of the government but they’d noticed during the occupation outside parliament that they weren’t much good at camping, survival skills might be pushing it. Ahh maybe it was time to forget about all this vaccine malarkey, and bringing the government down, and get back to normal - complaining about fluoride, 1080, and 5G.
It was the same for the talkback radio crowd, what to whine about now the government had done everything they’d asked for? A tough time for many, although they at least had Maori language week to complain about - having to listen to the weather report in Te Reo - that made them seethe with delicious rage.
Cynical voters who liked to moan about slow progress by the government on initiatives the parties they supported would never do anything about bemoaned news that house prices had fallen by the largest amount since records began. They rolled their eyes, it was bad enough that unemployment was so low.
Sure they could still have a good old whinge about inflation but even that felt a bit churlish considering most of the other countries we compare ourselves to had even higher rates. The argument that Jacinda was doing nothing and yet simultaneously was responsible for the world wide rise in living costs was a hard one to promote.
Bishop Tamaki and his core henchmen sat in a cafe and brainstormed new things to protest against. Brian said “c’mon guys a happy god is a poor god, if we want people to give we need something new to piss them off, and it better be important - with no gathering limits or mask requirements it’s going to be harder to get media attention - bloody government”.
They used a phone app to type their best idea on then they’d all turn them over at once to see if there was any alignment. They flipped them and all six phones said “Blame The Gays”. Brian smiled “it is amazing how the lord can unite people - amen”.
Even the media had their work cut out to find something wrong.
Kate Hawkesby interviewed the head of the Queenstown Chamber of Commerce and they agreed the government had done the right thing and there was nothing left to complain about.
Curiously it was this interaction, and not testing using the Hadron Collider, that caused much of the listening audience to disappear down a wormhole. To clarify when I say a wormhole I’m not referring to Mike Hosking’s bum, the source of much of their regular news.
The Daily Blog declared that this milestone was a victory for the people although it did go on to complain that there had been too many woke middle class liberals in key roles during the victory and not enough for the proletariat. Still the proprietor did go and check on stock levels for flat caps - just in case there was a celebratory rush.
Small business owners, or as they referred to themselves “the pillars of the community”, were content, they had a public holiday to complain about. Sure it was a once in a lifetime event to commemorate 70 years of dedicated service but that was no reason not to complain - its what they did.
Chris Bishop rehearsed his lines to the mirror “they were too fast”, he turned his head the other way “and too slow”, back to the centre “too kind but not kind enough”, he slammed his fist on the bathroom vanity. “They took too many risks but were too cautious, quarantine was a holiday camp but quarantine was also Stalag Seventeen”, he yelled every syllable of “Stalag Seventeen” for emphasis.
His heart wasn’t really in it, the more he thought about it the less he thought it was a flash idea to keep bringing the government’s response to the public’s attention. Then he thought of his great passion and he began to smile. Ah the Black Caps, now there was something to complain about - what a shambles!
There were some people who weren't sure that things were safe enough yet for the removal of restrictions. They did worry about getting ill or making people around them ill, but they didn't complain.
They recognised on balance it was the right thing for the community even though they worried and would like to have seen health measures retained. They thought they'd still wear a mask when they went to the supermarket and the chemist - they did hope no one would sneer at them for doing so.
Then there were a lot of people, a very larger number of people, who thought - is it really over? Thank goodness it’s over!
All those things we missed out on - seeing family, being able to get out and do things, normal life - those things we gave up to keep ourselves and each other safe - is it really gone?
They knew it wasn’t fully gone, but that at least the worst, at least for now, had passed and they were still alive.
And their families were still alive - the kids, damn it had been hard on them. Losing a couple of years freedom, not seeing friends, not taking part in things when you're fifty is one thing - but at sixteen? You don’t get those years again.
And these people didn't complain either - why would they? They were safe and life was pretty much getting back to normal, that was nothing to complain about.
They wondered if the government hadn’t done the things they did, if there had been a different government, how many more dead people there would have been - hundreds? Thousands perhaps?
Inevitably they thought of people they knew who if they’d been living somewhere like Italy, or the US, or England when this happened would probably be dead.
But they weren’t and that was something to be very grateful for - like run out onto the street and clap or bang pots and pans grateful, not for the critical workers, although there was nothing to complain about with those heroes.
But to acknowledge, and say thank you to, the people who had made the hard calls, and kept making the hard calls even when it wasn’t politically expedient.
Nothing to complain about - but much to be grateful for.
I reckon this track is a good fit, certainly takes me back.
Compared to quite a few much larger countries we have had effective and competent leadership through the pandemic and accordingly our death toll, is very low, although no comfort to those who have lost loved ones ...
"Nothing to complain about - but much to be grateful for." Plus a huge shout out to our frontline workers who continue to do the hard yards.