“I’ve been internalising a really complicated situation in my head.”
When they kept telling us we should wait until we get to know him, were they taking the piss? Was it a case of, if you think this is bad, wait till you get to know the real Christopher, after the election?
Or was it more that they hadn’t decided what he’d be at that point? He was still a blank canvas and the focus groups, and more to the point the sponsors, hadn’t decided yet what to paint.
He was a nebulous entity and many couldn’t tell what was there. Although some claimed they could see a magnificent piece of art, many of us were looking and saying there’s nothing there at all.
Fortunately though his partners, Seymour and Winston, managed to complete the picture. Painting their policies, in unusual colours that only a small minority would choose, all over Christopher Luxon so that it’s now hard to remember what he was like pre coalition makeover. Or even whether he existed before at all, or was a brand new creation made to order.
Reaching out for something to hold
Looking for a love where the climate is cold
Manic moves and drowsy dreams
Or living in the middle between the two extremes
Smoking guns hot to the touch
Would cool down if we didn't use them so much.
The problem, in this overcrowded metaphor, is that some of us don’t like the recipe. We crave a different flavour. A raspberry tea, or a lime cordial. Some hoped they were getting a refill of classic Key. But we’ve all been offered one of those sugar free options, a Coke Nada, that will probably give us cancer and is just not hitting the spot.
It’s not so much that we don’t like what many ordered, it’s more that the bartender doesn’t seem to have any idea what people like.
He’s just randomly tipping things into a great flammable cocktail, without following a recipe, and those tasting it question whether he might be a bit out of touch with what punters want.
Maybe this is a bit unfair. Maybe it’s not his fault. Could it be the dastardly media that have portrayed him as being so aloof from reality?
Nope.
In the wake of recent announcements the media seem to have awoken from their long slumber and are now delivering what was sorely needed six months ago - when it might have made an actual difference.
No, it’s not the media’s fault. Any issues that he’s had with them are of Luxon’s own making.
Ok, they might have asked him how much he spent on groceries for a week. But it’s not their fault he said sixty bucks! Any more than it’s their fault he looked so absurd hiring a Mercedes to cross the road to parliament as they ran behind him as he arrived to lead the people.
It occurred to me what the cause of the problem was. This perception he has created. In hindsight it seems so obvious…
Hard as it may be to believe this young lad who grew up in the 70s, a rugby loving Crusaders fan, seems to be completely out of touch with the realities of life for most New Zealanders.
Could it be that years of being fawned over as a living god when he was a CEO, or his time as a senior deodorant executive, an expat in his beloved US of A, have seen him lose touch with his Kiwi roots?
I don’t know. Does the Pope shit in the woods?
My apologies if you clicked on that link, you might not have gotten what you’d thought you were going to get - whatever that was.
Kind of like thinking you’d elected a nice moderate centre right government, only to find out that the boot boys and the tinfoil hats have taken over the asylum.
Yesterday morning I visited Nick’s Kōrero reader, ex Freyberg High pupil, and former Labour MP, Darien Fenton, and her husband John. They were fabulous hosts.
We spoke of elections past, including the most recent one and how the left had done. Of how vital a mainstream media is if we ever hope to have a population with a good understanding of political issues and what policies actually mean for them and their families.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Nick's Kōrero to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.