Play the Game
Christopher "Big Daddy" Luxon vs David "The Sociopath" Seymour.
Open up your mind and let me step inside
Rest your weary head and let your heart decide
It's so easy when you know the rules
It's so easy, all you have to do is fall in love
Songwriter: Freddie Mercury.
Yesterday afternoon, in a parallel reality, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon fronted the media with an announcement…
“After due consideration of his past behaviour and the antics that took place during my recent holiday, I have determined that David Seymour lacks the maturity, social skills, and the ability to emulate empathy that I require from a Deputy. He is also prone to involving himself in things that are none of his concern so that he can take credit, many of which are only talking points that we have no intention of actually delivering.”
“As of today, Winston Peters will resume the role of Deputy. Yes, he’s prone to crazy racist outbursts, but we only see that as a positive in making ourselves look as compliant as possible with Donald Trump. He is also quite comfortable with empty promises, I mean, how many times has the guy run promising rail to Northport? He understands the game.”
A clamour from the press pack.
“I don’t know if David will choose to bring the government down over this; that’s up to him. I don’t think the public would be very forgiving if he did.”
But that didn’t happen. In reality, Seymour received a wet bus ticket to his soft, delicate hand, like a kiss from a Cavoodle, while the more serious issues with his behaviour were entirely ignored.
Almost as if it was just for show…
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