Protest at Parliament: The Reunion.
“Without Koha, god is Hōhā!”
Brian’s god spoke to him. He, for of course the Lord in Tamaki’s mind was a male god, with a mighty rod, and probably some black leathers. He, told Brian - “you must put a stop to all this love, hope, and kindness”. And it did please the Brian.
He said “oh lord I am your disruptor. We will go among the people that have thoughts and we will shout at them so other people can’t hear their ideas. We’re not keen on new ideas in my church.”
God harrumphed and said, “Brian, don’t you mean my church?”
Brian muttered under his breath, “always takes the credit, never does the work”.
God ignored him and said “look Brian, do I have to spell it out? You and your disciples have to go to Wellington and stop this government! I’m not the guy in that new book, I’m old school Brian. I can tell you when I was watching the debate the other night and that Luxon chap said the thing Rainbow people need is mental health treatment, I was with cheering at my TV, along with the rest of my true followers.”
Brian said, “have you got a TV lord? Just like me, how big’s yours? Mine’s 83 inches, cost me ten grand.”
God said, “Look Brian I’m not comparing TV sizes with you, just get to Wellington and put an end to all this acceptance nonsense. Good grief, judging people is pretty much my favourite thing. Well apart from smiting them, obviously.”
Brian replied, “All right Lord I’ll go. Actually I need to fund a new extension to put that TV in, Hannah said it’s too big. Could do with the cash from a convoy, if you get my grift. Sorry, I mean my drift LOL.”
God answered, “Brian, have you ever thought of talking to someone about the voices in your head?” Then he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Brian climbed astride his Harley saying,“We’re taking these motorbikes to Parliament!”
Meanwhile further down the country Earle and Wayne were busy spray painting placards. Earle had been given the job of changing all the signs that said “Cindy is a Communist” to “Chippy is a Communist”, and he wasn’t happy about it.
“So let me get this straight”, said Earle, “Cindy’s gone and this new guy Mr Chips, or whatever his name is, took over. Now parliament has finished and there’s an election on.” Wayne nodded at him and then Earle continued. “So how come we have to go and protest at the Beehive? It doesn’t make any sense, none of the politicians will even be there.”
Wayne said “could you just stop whining and get painting? We’re off in a bit.”
Earle was looking up at the clouds, “it’s just, have you seen the sky? I know we’re hardy farming types but mate, I think there might be something to all this climate thing-a-me-bob. I’ve never seen weather like it’s been this year.”
“For god sake Earle, don’t use the ‘C’ word, the boss is coming.”
Earle sniggered and said “do you mean Chloe?”
“No, I mean climate, now shush Earle, he’s here.”
A person arrived wearing a cow suit. He said “my name’s Beefy, Beefy the bovine protector. Definitely nothing to do with the Taxpayer’s union or my name isn’t Jord..”, and then he coughed. Twice.
“Your name is Jord?”, said Earle.
“No, it’s um, ah, it’s Jordain. I’m French, and umm, blessed be the fromage makers”, said Beefy.
“Does he think we’re Ches and Dale?”, Earle said to Wayne.
“Signs look great boys”, said Beefy, “let’s hit the road. We’re taking these tractors to parliament!”
Julian woke from a restless sleep. He was drenched in sweat, and his mouth was dry.
The nightmares that had come during the night were awful. He dreamt that the next government was being sworn in, and that Rawiri Waititi was becoming Aotearoa’s first Co-Prime Minister.
He sat bolt upright in bed and said - “I’ve got to put a stop to this!”
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