So Smooth

Playing the Prime Minister at Question Time.

And if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Because you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
Oh, it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it

Songwriters: Itaal Shur / Robert Thomas

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A delicious thought occurred to me yesterday afternoon, and I posted:

If Luxon misses QT today, as is tradition, that leaves Winston playing the PM and explaining why Seymour hasn't been sacked.

In case you’re unaware, the Prime Minister and Leader of the Opposition don’t usually attend the Thursday session of Parliament. This isn’t just the standard case of Luxon avoiding answering questions.

Irene suggested that Winston would “probably go on his usual rambling rant and laugh at his own jokes, which only he and his coatholders find funny.” I don’t want to give away the ending, but she wasn’t wrong.

Hoping for some theatre, I watched Question Time, my first of the year. Here are my observations.

To begin, the Speaker, Gerry Brownlee, thanked the many people who had contacted him the previous evening with suggested punishments for David Seymour. Gerry didn’t look upset doing so, but he did explain that the “prosecution of stupid” was outside of standing orders. At least, I think that’s what he said.

Then Chris Bishop got up and talked about next week's work programme, using some of the worst pronunciation of Te Reo I have ever heard. It was staggeringly bad and must have required some effort to ignore decades of being taught how to make Māori vowel sounds as every New Zealander Bishop’s age has been.

1. TĀKUTA FERRIS (Te Pāti Māori —Te Tai Tonga) to the Minister for Māori Development: Does he believe this Government is upholding its obligations to Māori under Te Tiriti o Waitangi?

Tākuta Ferris began speaking but was shouted over by Shane Jones. Kieran McAnulty pointed out that the Speaker had indicated he would take action for the same behaviour the previous day.

NZ First MP Shane Jones. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Ferris asked Tama Potaka whether he thought his government was upholding the crown's responsibilities. The Minister responded by listing several meetings that ministers had attended and the announcement of a charter school, so there was absolutely nothing of substance relating to the question.

I laughed when Tākuta asked whether Ministers should be required to have a basic understanding of our history. The man from Te Tai Tonga then asked why National was giving submitters who opposed the Treaty Principles Bill a hard time if they opposed it. That was ruled out. Potaka looked as grey as his suit, a dull conspirator shaming his people.