The Empty Hand

What was over there is over here.

These are the days of the empty hand
Oh, you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear twice a year
This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there is over here

Songwriter: George Michael

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“Furrtttt”, that’s my best approximation of the sound of the power going out. It happened the other day, and it will happen again shortly.

The standard question: Did you pay the power bill? Yes. Has there been a fault reported? No. Is there anything on the community page? No.

Eventually, you find half of the suburb is out, and it must have been serious because starting shortly, you will have a full day of unplanned outage. Which is a long-winded way of saying I was short of time.

I was also short on inspiration.

Sunday’s news, with the government dropping emissions targets by half to follow industry pseudo-scientists, a blatant offering to the farming lobby, and so many regions getting rid of Māori wards, had given me the blues. There was plenty to write about, but it seemed so negative.

Today marks the return of an old standby: 10 memories from the last 10 years, on this day or close to it, along with 10 somewhat related questions that are repeated at the end. So to begin, we’re going back to 2015…

2015 - 10 years ago.

Medicinal cannabis was in the headlines as people like Helen Kelly and Martin Crowe sought permission to access the drug, which was helping with their pain as they reached the end of their lives. Much like calls from the Drug Foundation this week to decriminalise drugs, those pleas fell on deaf ears, and I wrote:

I see quite a few of the National Party MPs are opposed to even considering the use of medical Marijuana for pain relief for the terminally ill. Is it because?

a) Their constituents like 1950s values – Reefer Madness!

b) God told them the pain these people are suffering is part of his plan?

c) They are beholden to industry lobbyists who have told them that no changes in drug laws can be contemplated.

Any other reasons?

Helen Kelly. Image: https://womanmagazine.co.nz/author/admin/page/21/

Question 1: What do you think should happen with our Cannabis laws? Legalise, decriminalise, or leave as is with medicinal cannabis available by prescription?

2016 - 9 years ago.

Union leader Helen Kelly died, I wrote, “I’m so sad that she is gone, our best and our bravest, at least there is no more pain.”

Question 2: If Helen were still alive today, quite possibly on the Labour front bench, what do you think she’d have to say to Brooke van Velden and Christopher Luxon about the way they have treated workers?

2017 - 8 years ago.

A movement began eight years ago this week when the hashtag Me Too was shared for the first time. I remember seeing it for the first time and writing, “Feeling sadness and anger that so many women are posting ‘Me Too’ tonight, but mostly feel admiration for their bravery. I think it is very powerful!”

Question 3: Who is the first person that comes to mind when you think of the “Me Too” movement?

2018 - 7 years ago.

I wrote, “Home alone, I do hope the neighbours enjoy a bit of Shine On in the morning. That guitar tone over the organ - magnificent! ‘Remember when you were young....’”

Question 4: What is something you remember from when you were young?

2019 - 6 years ago.

I shared a tweet I enjoyed:

“I want a green one - Make Aotearoa Green Again just to fuck the rednecks off.”

Question 5: What other alternatives for MAGA do you like?

2020 - 5 years ago.

I wrote:

Did you see photos or videos of Jacinda campaigning in Lower Hutt and at Vic today? Holy heck, I pay quite a bit of attention to politics – no, really, I cannot remember ever seeing anything like this. The turnouts, be they in places like Hamilton or Christchurch, or anywhere, have been incredible.

Meanwhile, the National Party turnouts, of, and I mean no offence by this, Boomers in bowling clubs, must have many of their MPs lower on the list remembering the glory days of Soymon Brudges sausage roll and limousine tour when he became leader.

Judith has now moved from blatant scare tactics against the Greens tax policy, despite Labour ruling a Wealth tax out, ironically while she ruled out ACT tax policies, to calling the PM a liar and daring her to sue her. What odds tomorrow she’ll start chanting “Lock Her Up”?

While it may feel like we’re heading for a landslide, every single vote counts – get out there! No time for complacency, whether you’re Green or Red, get out there! If you’re Yellow or Blue, there probably isn’t much point; maybe go to a café on Saturday instead of voting, or burn some high-denomination currency in front of a homeless person to create a happy memory for later in the evening.

Question 6: Jacinda and Simon are both gone, and yet Judith remains. Is she the Keith Richards of the National Party?

Judith Collins. Photo: Robert Kitchin/The Post.

2021 - 4 years ago.

The year before I began this newsletter, I started writing a daily post on lockdown. Four years ago today, it was…

Day fifty-seven of lockdown.

It's been three weeks this Friday since I had my first jab, the rest of the family have all had two, and I booked my second one on Saturday morning. Fi laughed. “You want to be part of the Vaxathon?” Yeah, I do. I would love to see massive numbers on Super Saturday.

I've heard that there is some anecdotal evidence that a few teachers have resigned due to the requirement to be vaccinated by the end of the year. Now, I suppose that is probably true, but it could just be made up; I don’t place a lot of stock in anecdotes as news anymore. Once you’ve heard Tova say to the PM, “we’ve heard of a person that bad things have happened to” twenty times or so, with not a shred of evidence or detail, you begin to think – yeah, nah, that is at least 50% likely to be just out-and-out made up.

Anyway, I’m sure there will be a few teachers who leave the profession, hopefully not too many. How long, I wonder, before ACT or National announces a new range of charter schools, Freedom schools, that will employ unvaccinated teachers? Sure, the roll might have a higher-than-average turnover, but there have to be profits to be made there.

John Kirwan’s son Niko scored a late winner this morning for the All Whites against Bahrain. I think it is very cool that JK’s son plays football for a living in Italy; the old fella certainly went a long way from being a butcher’s son in Mangere. I’ve always respected his refusal to go on the rebel tour of South Africa during apartheid days.

The big news of the day is that Heather Du Plessis-Allan, heroine of incel, MAGA (Make Ardern Go Away) hat wearing, Newstalk ZB listening troglodytes, and Barry “you know when I was your age Heather I used to drink Gin in the afternoon with Prime Minister Muldoon” Soper are to have a child. Now, rather than dwelling upon any thoughts of the conception, let us fast forward to happier times, the birthing suite some months from now, the arrival of a new life…

Heather is nearing the end of labour, she yells “I am Sparta”, gives a final push, and the baby boy shoots out at incredible velocity – fortunately, the midwife is good at catching. The cord is cut, and the midwife moves to place the newborn upon the mother’s chest. Heather shrieks, “No, take this child and place it upon the side of Mt Victoria unclothed for a week. If it survives, then bring it to me.” Heather will not contemplate a potentially weak leech upon her breast.

Meanwhile, in the farthest corner of the birthing suite sits Barry, a blanket over his knees, slippers, and a large mug of warm Horlicks. He peers over in the direction of his wife, “What was that you said, dear? We hate Jacinda? Yes, we do. While you’ve been making all that noise, I’ve written five articles about her being a baby-eating demon – I think our listeners will love them”.

“No, you silly old fool”, says Heather “, our baby has arrived”. Barry becomes quite emotional at this news, a tear slides down his cheek, and he gently sobs as he responds, “Does this mean?” he clears his voice, “Does this mean that I will have to find a new caregiver?”

Take care, all of you lovely people, especially studio owners who will kindly let the kids use their space. It is not the same as being there with other people, but it makes a change from dancing in the lounge and bedroom – and goodness knows a change at this point is a good thing!

Question 7: What is something you remember about lockdown?

2022 - 3 years ago.

Three years ago, Christopher Luxon pushed his luck with Kim Hill, and it went about as well as you can imagine:

Question 8: Do you have a favourite radio interviewer?

2023 - 2 years ago.

Twas the night before the election, and I posted a quote:

“Luxon’s performance on the campaign trail... suggests he is incurious and unimaginative, or perhaps a bit slow.” Matthew Hooton.

Question 9: Do you think Hooton’s description was fair, or, in hindsight, was he generous?

2024 - last year.

Before he started saying he wasn’t concerned. Usually, some time after saying “what I would say to you”, Christopher Luxon often disavowed knowledge of what was going on, perhaps his most convincing performance to date. I wrote about the PM being unaware…

Question 10: What do you think Christopher Luxon is aware of?

Questions:

Feel free to comment on as few or as many of these as you want.

Question 1: What do you think should happen with our Cannabis laws? Legalise, decriminalise, or leave as is with medicinal cannabis available by prescription?

Question 2: If Helen Kelly were still alive today, quite possibly on the Labour front bench, what do you think she’d have to say to Brooke van Velden and Christopher Luxon about the way they have treated workers?

Question 3: Who is the first person that comes to mind when you think of the “Me Too” movement?

Question 4: What is something you remember from when you were young?

Question 5: What other alternatives for MAGA do you like?

Question 6: Jacinda and Simon are both gone, and yet Judith remains. Is she the Keith Richards of the National Party?

Question 7: What is something you remember about lockdown?

Question 8: Do you have a favourite radio interviewer?

Question 9: Do you think Hooton’s description of Luxon as “incurious and unimaginative, or perhaps a bit slow,” was fair, or, in hindsight, was he being generous?

Question 10: What do you think Christopher Luxon is aware of?

Thanks for reading, have a good Monday. 🙂

Ngā mihi,
Nick.

To end, on this day in 1990, George Michael went to No. 1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Praying For Time,” his sixth U.S. solo No. 1.