What are the first things you think of when you think of Ireland?
Pubs and live music? Rural traditions and small communities? Sectarian violence? Saint Patrick’s Day? A certain looming sporting fixture with a funny shaped ball?
Hopefully not many people think first of religious conflict these days, which is a good thing. No doubt some of you will think first and foremost of the rugby game at the moment, but that is a shame when you consider the traditions and contributions Ireland has made to the world.
So, I hear you ask, what have the Irish ever done for us anyway?
A country of a similar population, the republic of Ireland having a few hundred thousand fewer people than Aotearoa, but Ireland as a whole having one and a half million more people, and of about a third the size.
Stuck next to louder more obnoxious neighbours, sound familiar? They have to put up with the neighbours making “Irish” jokes about them all with same hilarious punch line - Irish people are stupid.
Brilliant! They must find it about as amusing as we find Aussies telling sheep shagging jokes although really it is more akin to the racist anti-Maori jokes that most of New Zealand has long retired to the past. Although you know Don Brash probably has quite the collection ready for after dinner speaking engagements.
To be fair stupid jokes are not the worst things their neighbors ever did to the Irish.
Irish food – um, it’s not one of your classically renowned cuisines it is? Irish stew, spuds – what else do you think of? An Irish breakfast? That isn’t really very different from an English breakfast, or a Welsh one, or a Scottish one is it - as delicious as it might be.
Ever seen an Irish themed restaurant, not a pub, a restaurant featuring Irish cuisine? I’ve eaten Curry at a Danish restaurant in Bolivia, good Italian in Bangkok, had Chinese for Christmas dinner in Cuzco, but around the world I can’t recall seeing an Irish restaurant.
As with other heavy drinking cultures the food could be described kindly as filling, less kindly as stodgy.
To be fair though they do do a great night out, sing along to “Dirty Old Town” with the band at the Dog’s Bollix pub, the girl you’ve just met, Guinness, and lots of laughs – always a great night. Sure you might end up kissing the girl in the queue for a taxi, rather than by a factory wall – but pretty authentic nonetheless.
They have given us inventions – colour photography, the syringe, a cure for leprosy, and the stethoscope, the ejector seat, the modern tractor, guided missiles, and the submarine, the cream cracker, flavoured potato chips, and the bacon rasher!
Hmm, perhaps they had more of a role in the origins of the full cooked breakfast than I gave them credit for.
The land of Wilde and Joyce, of Bono and Morrison, of Farrell and Neeson, Best and O’Driscoll, Bea and Hughes, and of Thin Lizzy and the Pogues.
They have produced a great deal, I’m not saying sufficient to make up for the abomination that is Mrs Brown’s Boys, but an awful lot.
That might be a bit unfair on that particular programme – so Bono then. The Irish have almost created enough wonderful Art, Literature, Music etc to make up for Bono’s ego – almost.
Of course with Ireland the inevitable elephant in the room is the division between the two parts of Ireland.
It’s easy to say give Ireland back to the Irish, thanks Paul McCartney, but of course there is the small matter of the million odd folks who don’t want to be part of Ireland they want to be part of the UK.
Although you’ve got to wonder how the Brexit vote influenced things with 55.8% of folks in Northern Ireland voting to Remain.
When I was born in the seventies sectarian violence, the Troubles, were at their worst. Growing up the conflict in Northern Ireland was like the Israeli/Palestinian situation, one it was easy to take sides in, where the two parties had great certainty that they were right, and clearly a situation that would never be solved.
But they did. I remember I was living in London, with the girl from the taxi queue, when the Good Friday agreement came in, it seemed almost too good to be true – people were very excited. In a world where diplomatic solutions especially for religious based conflicts, never seem to work it was a shining example of what could be achieved.
If all Ireland had ever done was to (mostly) move on from the Troubles they’d have given the world a great example of ending senseless sectarian violence.
Something else we could learn from the Irish is sportsmanship. The respect that means when an opposition team is taking a penalty kick you can hear a pin drop, there is silence. Booing is the sort of thing you expect at Twickenham not in Dublin, it is becoming louder and more obnoxious at Eden Park - we should cut that shit out.
The Irish rugby team, as opposed to other sports like football, isn’t divided along religious lines they represent the whole of Ireland.
If we’re going to lose at our precious rugby there are other countries you want to lose to less. The English who will prance around like they are the champions of the world, their supporters particularly painful appropriating the slave song “Swing Low” and generally being very poor winners.
The Irish on the other hand you just want to say well done and celebrate together. You don’t want to lose but it’s just a game.
If there is one thing we can learn from the Irish it is to put aside our religious fervor for the game with a funny shaped ball - these folks are from a heavily Catholic nation and they managed to put that aside to legalise abortion for goodness sake!
By all means enjoy the game, be excited anticipating it, cheer like crazy throughout - I certainly will be, but when it finishes enjoy the company of opposition supporters and remind yourself it is just a game.
If you’re feeling devastated or angry afterwards get some perspective it’s just a game - even if it is rugby.
The thing is winning all the time is boring and it’ll be nice to see the smiles on the opposition fans should the worst happen.
Oh bugger, I lost you right at the end there didn’t I?
The girl from the taxi queue and I went to see Shane McGowan in London once, I am astonished based on the state of him that day that he is still alive. Perhaps I’ll play her some Pogues this evening.
Ireland legalising abortion was a huge deal. I was very surprised given the Catholocism of Ireland, and the overall position of women. In 1987 I attended an International Conference in Cardiff,Wales attended by women representing close to forty countries.The Theme was discrimination toward, and abuse of women. Of the Catholic countries there, I expected the women with most issues of discrimination when we talked ,and workshopped, to be from countries like Greece. In fact it was Ireland that took that place. Obviously a lot has changed since . Thankfully. !I support your comment about English rugby fans belting out the chorus of Swing high, swing low at their matches to encourage their teams. It shocks me. Not only is it cultural appropiation but it is, as you said a song from slavery in the US Southern states .It is what used to be called a "negro spiritual". And spiritual it is. An expression of pain,and desperation, calling to be "taken home" out of the pain and misery of living as a slave. And the clueless poms turn it into a rugby/sports song. How they made that leap is beyond me. ?When we learned and sang that song at school it was always very poignant. My late husband was a huge lover of rugby. He was after all in the Wesley College first fifteen.. I grew up in a rugby family- my brothers played , my father had played. But after the 1981 Springbok Tour where I protested I did not want my young sons to play rugby. So soccer it was . Later as teenagers they somehow found their way to rugby League, and then Rugby Union. Oh well. Go the All Blacks tomorrow.
Another superb read Nick 👏👏