When in Rome

If the ringmaster's over there, who's herding the clowns?

'Cause you and me, were meant to be,
Walking free, in harmony,
One fine day, we'll fly away,
Don't you know that Rome wasn't built in a day?

Songwriters: Paul David Godfrey / Ross Godfrey / Skye Edwards.

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I was half expecting to see photos this morning of National Party supporters with wads of cotton wool taped to themselves in solidarity with their brave leader, who momentarily flinched when a casing hit his shoulder while observing a military training exercise in the UK.

Presumably, shortly prior to being asked to sign a large check for our ongoing membership in the Anglo-Saxon old boys club, despite the fact that once again those American upstarts have decided to go their own way.

To be fair to Luxon, he brushed it aside and carried on as if it were no big deal—and it really was no big deal—but was that going to stop the headlines?

Christopher's trip had been going rather well. Hands were being shaken, photos were being taken, and Mr Luxon was having quite a nice OE, all in all...

Image: BeFunky.

And then the call came: “A change in plans, Prime Minister. You’ve got to go to Rome to see the Pope off.”

The PM was perplexed, “But why?” he said. “I’m not Catholic, heck, I barely even pretend to be Christian these days, what’s in it for me?”

“There’ll be many world leaders and television crews from every network on the planet… Mr Luxon…? Are you still there?”

But it was too late, Christopher had already hung up, singing something about going on a Roman Holiday.

I posted:

Others had concerns, too:

Betsy was worried he might grab the pontiff’s arm in the open coffin; he likes to grab important people, often inappropriately, but I thought that would be a bit much for even Luxon. I suggested he’d probably settle for a selfie with the deceased, although quite a few people were concerned that he’d give a thumbs up while doing so.

Penny wondered if he would take his yellow bat; he’s very fond of it, but surely that would be too far, even for him. Wouldn’t it…?

Image: BeFunky.

Debbie noted, “Well, he couldn't send Winston Trump now, could he? There'll be too many men in dresses for his liking....”

Joking aside, Josephine nailed it, “Christopher Luxon attending Pope Francis's funeral seems highly hypocritical to me when you consider his and his government’s actions punching down on the vulnerable, disabled and the disadvantaged communities in our society. Chippy would have been a far better representative.”

It’s not that I object to Luxon attending just because he’s from the right, although, needless to say, I’d have been happy to have Jacinda or Chippy there.

It’s about the way he will conduct himself; it’s embarrassing.

You were proud to be from a country that elected Jacinda, but now? It’s like when we look at Americans. We know there are lots of intelligent folks in that country, but they all get lumped together when we look at the place and say, “What kind of people would elect Trump?!”

So that’s how I feel about Luxon representing us on the world stage.

People must look and think, what sort of people elect that guy? Especially after the last one you guys had. Talk about downgrading highly capable ferries, or should that be fairies if you remember the pixie dust, and getting a second-hand Corolla instead that turns out not to have an engine under the hood.

Like, why would anyone do that?

Plus, there’s the added excitement of wondering whose arm he’s going to grab a little too enthusiastically, or that he’s going to get shown on international media laughing away at a funeral as he makes an inappropriate joke with some other person who’s only there to get his picture taken. Like this guy…

John Key and David Cameron share a joke at Nelson Mandela’s funeral.

If you remember that guy laughing it up with his buddy at Nelson Mandela's funeral, Jesus wept, like the rest of the congregation, the two above, though. I don’t even want to know what they found so amusing.

Meanwhile, back at the big top, the clowns were running amok..

In case you missed it, Corin Dann interviewed Mr Peters and asked perfectly reasonable questions about NZ First’s Member’s Bill to define a woman. Winston decided that going on the attack was preferable to answering questions and let loose.

“The fact is you’re paid for by the taxpayer, and sooner or later we’re going to cut that water off too because you’re an abuse on the taxpayer, you’re not hearing both sides of the story, you keep on putting the argument of the woke left.

You’re paid for by the taxpayer, and sooner or later, we’re going to cut that water off too, because you’re an abuse on the taxpayer.”

Corin Dann is an abuse on the taxpayer? Well, Mr Peters, after decades on the public purse, often holding the balance of power and the country to ransom, how well do you think you have served the taxpayer?

At the start of this term, I remember Winston going to war with the media, and threatening them, I assume that Luxon told him to pull his head in.

The fact that he has now returned to his Trumpesque full-on assault on the media and threatened the funding of our public broadcaster would suggest that, as we begin the downhill run to the next election, Peters doesn’t much care what Mr Luxon thinks.

Recent kerfuffles over pronouncements by Luxon about the world economy would enforce that Peters is, unsurprisingly, as ever, putting his needs first.

Ahead of the government he is serving in, with the nation's interests falling outside the medals, no doubt well below the interests of certain sectors that have long supported NZ First’s low-level cronyism.

Chippy pointed out what absolute Banana Republic stuff it was to have the Acting Prime Minister suggest he would silence a reporter because he didn’t like the questions or the angle of the spotlight.

“Threatening a media entity that is statutorily independent, with cutting their funding because you don't like the way you're being interviewed is utterly unacceptable for any minister, even more unacceptable when that person happens to be the deputy prime minister.

Threatening to cut funding is a form of censorship. It is totally and utterly wrong.”

Hipkins said that Luxon needed to enforce standards of his ministers and, “at the very least,” make it clear to Peters that it should never happen again. I posted:

Yeah Nah. This morning I listened to the news on RNZ and posted:

Luxon calls Winston’s behaviour “unsurprising”.

Sure, so was Jack the Ripper’s each time, it doesn’t mean those in charge just shrugged their shoulders.

Winston has been complaining about the media while loving every bit of coverage forever. Perhaps the best response would be to ignore him and starve him of the oxygen he seeks with these absurd tactics?

But you can’t simply ignore the things he is doing. Far from Dann being out of order, I think the media in general are far too lenient on Peters.

Winston acts as if there are two equal viewpoints: the woke left and him, despite the fact that his theatrics are only ever going to appeal to a minority, a minority large enough to see him across the 5% threshold.

If you think I’m being harsh on his supporters, consider this. Straight after the interview, Peters doubled down, calling Dann names on social media just like Trump. It’s pathetic. Like Trump, Peters does so because he knows there are people who will welcome him calling the clever liberal names.

I commented: “Nothing against the bloke, but Corin never seemed particularly 'woke' to me, he seemed to play it straight up the middle. Perhaps by woke, Winston means ‘intelligent’, he's sure not keen on that.”

These people, eh?

How the hell are these the people that are running our country? Who voted for it, and for the love of god, why do the polls say they’d happily do so again, even seeing the absolute shemozzle these guys have made of things since they came to power? Good lord, what the hell was in that anti-Jacinda Kool-Aid they consumed?.

One has used AI images to pretend that Māori are happy with ACT and wants to eliminate adult toilets in childcare centres.

One guy is running around asking what a woman is - the same guy who wants young people to be taught less about sexuality.

And a leader who’s buggered off on an OE to try and drum up votes in bars in London, who will now stop off for photo ops in Rome. Before heading to Gallipoli.

Shouldn’t someone be focused on the important things?

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This newsletter should have been paywalled, but I hate putting a paywall in front of my writing. It just feels wrong—it’s not why I wanted to write.

So today’s edition is open to all. You’re welcome to share it, and if you’d like to become a paid subscriber and help me ditch that stupid paywall for good, my offer of 30% off for the first year for new subscribers is good until tomorrow.

Have a good one, all you lovely people. To end today, some turn of the century goodness from Morcheeba, with Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day.