American Boy
Fund raising with lobbyists, a crime amnesty, and homage to a hero.
Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA
I really want to come kick it with you
You'll be my American boy…
Love letters straight from the heart.
Hmm, I think that’s a different tune, but that’s where we’ll begin. With Luke Malpass’ love letter to Luxon. A declaration of fandom, an open letter of admiration in the Post.
Our Lothario Luke, who is now the political editor of Stuff, was formerly with the NZ Initiative. The slightly less ugly sibling of the Taxpayers’ Union. Both lobby groups acting on behalf of folks like the Business Roundtable.
Basically these are cheerleaders of the reforms from Roger Douglas and Ruth Richardson who complain that Nicola Willis is taking it too easy.
Wikipedia describes them thus: “The New Zealand Initiative, together with the New Zealand Taxpayers' Union, is a member of the Atlas Network, a global conservatarian group”
That word, conservatarian, might not be familiar to you - it wasn’t to me. Apparently it’s “a political and social philosophy that combines conservatism and libertarianism, representing the libertarian wing of conservatism and vice versa.”
So essentially, all the social repression of conservatism, with adherents looking to impose their “morality” on others, but without any of the God stuff that might get in the way of worshipping the free market. Oh goodie.
Luke used to appear on TV as a representative of this free market think tank, a polite way of saying lobbyists, propounding neoliberal views while dressed as an economist. Now he pens fan mail to the Prime Minister, including some statements that ought to be surprising, but aren’t…
Quite a number of people commenting on my Facebook post suggested that perhaps the Prime Minister might like to go there and stay there. In their view America was quite welcome to keep him and that a one-way ticket might be the order of the day.
Julia suggested he should go, but had a few stipulations:
“A suicidal empire determined to take the whole world with it. I will always be American but since I renounced my citizenship a few years ago for moral and practical reasons, Lux is welcome to my place, with a few provisos. He must live in Flint, Michigan, where AFAIK the tap water is still leaded, and he must be a minimum wage earner with no health insurance.”
To give the full quote from the apple post above, Luxon said, “It's a system I know fairly well, and it's a country that I know well, and has a culture that I understand.” So that’s nice, isn’t it?
To be fair it's good that there’s a country he understands, I'm sure you got that subtext. As Paula commented, it’s “pretty clear he does not understand or care about the culture of Aotearoa New Zealand.”
According to Malpass the PM is “an avid reader of US political history and big fan of US fast food.” I can certainly picture the man with a bucket of chicken but I’m having more trouble taking the image of him with a book seriously. Maybe that’s unfair, but I just kind of figure someone who’s an “avid reader”, might have something to say about the place that doesn’t sound like he got it from a Reagan era pamphlet warning of the perils of socialism.
Whether or not Luxon knows his history he is certainly a connoisseur of American cuisine. As this passage, highlighting Luxon’s and Luke’s shared interest demonstrates:
In the meantime, however, before getting on to lofty discussions about international grand strategy, we are talking American fast food — to which we are both evidently partial.
“I think In-N-Out burger’s pretty good. I think a few others could be pretty good. My favourite of all time is Chipotle burritos, Mexican burritos.”
His favourite is the chicken burrito.
“You and I might, we might try and get one,” he says after I confess I have a soft spot for American fast food. There is no KFC in the tiny District of Columbia — they are in Virginia and Maryland — so choice is somewhat crimped.
Pretty insightful stuff, however Luke returns to more serious matters and went on to say, “The sort of guy Luxon is could hold New Zealand in good stead if there is to be a Trump administration.”
Is that supposed to make us feel proud? Seriously? Having a Prime Minister that is the sort of person the Trump administration can do business with? A pseudo Christian with infinitely flexible morals who is largely ambivalent to the non-wealthy. Hmm is that Trump or Luxon? Maybe Malpass has a point.
On the other hand it seems unlikely that Luxon will get any attention from the current President. With everything else that’s going on it’s hard to imagine that Joe Biden would have the time, or the inclination - if he has any idea who he is, to see Luxon. Please note that comment isn’t a dig at Biden’s much discussed faculties, I simply doubt Luxon will find anyone particularly interested in him. Apart from Luke obviously.
Still, perhaps Christopher will get some tips over there. In good news - they’d be from major world leaders, in less positive news they would probably be because they assumed he was a doorman, or something.
Regardless of Luxon’s presence, whether it was noticed or not, it’s fair to say that Joe has a few problems. As Jon Stewart pointed out yesterday:
Luke reached the summit at the end of his piece gushing, “Anything could happen, and New Zealand’s PM will be there.” Rob summed it up well:
“Love letter is no exaggeration.
Journalistic impartiality has always been a myth but this sycophantic drivel is not fitting coming from a person who occupies the post of political, business and economic editor for a major newspaper.”
Quite. Meanwhile back at the ranch…
While Washington may be the home of political lobbying one government Minister was not suffering the tyranny of distance, as reported in Newsroom.
Sometimes, in places like Washington, lobbyists have to go to great lengths to approach politicians, but in an act of superb efficiency Minister McClay has shown that he can go directly to the lobbyists. Even taking part in a fundraiser.
Kind of like Dr Ciga-Reti bringing a cake to a bake sale for Big Tobacco. Figuratively obviously.
Long story short, the folks fundraising want exotic elk, introduced from North America, declared a herd of special interest. This is so they can have a “trophy herd” and not be subject to concerns such as protecting sensitive indigenous plants.
There’s nothing wrong per se with wanting to prioritise hunting over conservation issues but as Forest and Bird have pointed out the Minister’s presence at the fundraiser, given his involvement in decisions, does not “pass the sniff” test.
Forest & Bird chief executive Nicola Toki said, “There’s a raised eyebrow from my perspective just given that court proceedings are underway, even if they are paused, and as far as I can tell, under the legislation … he will have decision-making powers as Hunting Minister for herds of special interest.”
Perhaps the government might like to consider having a bit of a moratorium on Minister’s attending fund raising with lobbyists while court actions are proceeding? I mean if it’s good enough to have a cooling off period for criminals then why not?
What’s that you ask, a cooling off period from the party of Law and Order? Surely not. Yet that’s exactly what they’ve advertised in the following tweet yesterday. A threat to get tough on criminals, but an amnesty for the next four and a half months to presumably carry on as they are…
Unsurprisingly the announcement caused much mirth. Former Herald writer David Cormack wrote, “listen up fellow criminals, we got 4 months to crime it up large before the government makes crime a crime.”
C’mon guys, I thought we were taking crime seriously, not kicking the can down the road and doing something a bit later? It’s not like we’re talking about Cancer drugs here.
Ben was relieved, “Finally, a government willing to make crime illegal”.
Hayden pointed out this was, “terrible news for the criminals that currently like laws.”
Economissive joked, “Criminals not reading this are safe An unfortunate loophole in the legislation”
While Nick said, “Thank goodness National are here to make crimes illegal! Finally something to make criminals think twice before doing their dastardly crimes.”
So I take it back, the government are doing something more than nothing about crime. Well, they will be at the end of November. Future promises are always so much easier than current actions, don’t you find?
The Aunties wanted a bit more info, “Are you talking ‘person who steals food to feed their family’ crimes? Or ‘business person commits fraud’ crimes? Maybe ‘high profile person commits sexual assault’ crimes? I suspect it’s just more ‘you don’t have the $ for a good lawyer’ crimes eh?”
Robbie Nicol, aka White Man Behind a Desk, could see the funny side, “Smugly telling someone who keeps smashing your vases that you're about to get in a big shipment of new vases.”
So there we have it folks. A Prime Minister who has great affinity for someplace else, a minister helping lobbyists fund raise, and the prospect of the government taking a hard stance against crime, some time in a few months, probably.
Perhaps it’s best to be like Luke, lay back, think of America, and just enjoy it. Have a great day all of you lovely people. 🙂
Great post, Nick, and spot on. Here’s the letter we wrote to the Post in response to this bottom-of- the-barrel item
In his front page piece on Christopher Luxon (Luxon's high stakes US trip), Luke Malpass has managed to hit an all time low. His previously thinly-veiled bias and unwavering support for our PM is laid completely bare in this advertorial disguised as journalism.
Given his background with The New Zealand Initiative, It's hardly surprising that Luke Malpass holds right-wing views. What is surprising is that a newspaper that claims to provide balanced reporting can happily print his constant cheer leading.
Thanks Nick. Pretty much everything (probably everything, but I'll give them some wiggle room) this government does is seedy. Teetering on the edge of integrity. Lacking in vision. Lacking awareness of how we Kiwis rock. And now Luke thinks we should feel proud that Luxon might become Trump's friend. Truly, who are these aliens?