It's hard when old friends pass on, or are suffering one of those illnesses that debilitate and rob them of a full life. My thoughts are with you.
At 77, I've experienced and am experiencing this time of life with friends and family. It's important, I think, to live each day as much as we can. We're all going at some stage, and while living in the "now", we need to plan for the finale, as well.
Go well, Nick. Treasure all the times you have had with Keith over the years.
Losing someone close to you is hard and git wrenching. I lost my mum when I was 15. Life has never been the same without mum; my wedding and my babies. Kia kaha Nick and Arohanui to you, your whanau and friends.
That was a very moving read Nick, I am in the same situation at the moment.
I have asked you in the past if you would be willing to put your bank account deets online for those who might wish to pitch in a little extra on top of our subs? You replied you were hesitant to do so (for good reasons) but you might wish to reconsider. I for one would be happy to do this alongside my regular sub.
🫂Most Substack subscription pages have an option for a "Gift Subscription" & some writers use those to offset people who CAN'T pay - you can chose just a month or whatever & that would top-up Nick a little. I also know some who have a "Tip-Jar" in their articles for those such as yourself & others who want to give a little bit outside of subs - good writing is worth supporting eh 🫂
I feel for you Nick and it’s great that you were able to see your friend and honour your friendship.
Funnily enough (or not) I have also spent two days visiting my lovely brother who lives in Rotorua, who is in a similar situation. I’m back home in Auckland early next week.
He’s younger than me and it feels strange that I’m still ok, given the age difference. Who knows why or when.
Just kick back and soak up the last few days you’ve had. Your friendship with Keith for so long has earned you that. Be a bit “selfish”. I’m sure the world won’t mind🤔. I’ve been in your situation far too many times so like Josephine says, if you need an ear,a shoulder or a Zero Peroni or 10, I think you have my number. Please feel free. All the best.
Wot, Jeremy said. Nick, I feel your pain. Sorry to say as we get to be old farts going to funerals almost gets to be a ritual. Doesn't make it any easier for the special ones.
Beautifully written Nick and I thank you. I hope that writing it and sharing it « with all us beautiful people » reminded you of the good times, the challenges, joys and absolute love.
What I’ve learnt about death, after my folks passing slowly, but not easily and my partner being killed instantly. Is never leave anything unsaid.
Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men capture it perfectly for me…. One Sweet Day
Beautifully written as always and very poignant. Friends and whanau are so important. I’m 77 now and dealing with death and dying doesn’t get any easier but I think it’s a huge comfort to those suffering to have friends and whanau around ..
On the issue of subscribing to your newsletter- I think it’s well worth the subscription but I had been thinking that as most of them are now free there is no point in subscribing. It’s a bit of juggle , I know ,when you’re trying to balance getting more readers on board and making subscribing worthwhile . Hope it works out for you.
E kore au e ngaro, he kākano I this mai a Rangiātea
I shall never be lost, I am a seed sown in the heavens of Rangiatea
As is Keith, as are we all. Westerners tend to avoid speaking of death and decline, and not deal with it as a sad but natural part of life. Some are learning. Did you know you can train in Aotearoa now to be an End of Life doula? Guiding the person leaving in the way a birth doula guides the hapu woman and whanau. Tikanga Māori and many indigenous customs have a healthier acceptance of death, while still raging against the dying of the light.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I lost a new, unexpected soulmate love six years ago
As to subscribers, times are hard. I’ve taken a weekend job and wish I could subscribe to many more people - you are the only one I do because I cannot afford more. (I also bought a subscription to Jeff Tiedrich simply so I could comment, but regretted falling into that comments bog and canceled.)
Don’t think the issue is your writing or that it is not valued, just know that people are rationing food so paying for words, however wise, becomes a luxury. I wish you good fortune, literally.
A moving post Nick😔 The big C absolutely sucks😥 You wear your heart on your sleeve🙏🏽 its one of the reasons I will keep subscribing to you - you are real❤️
Nga mihi nui Nick, thanks for sharing such a poignant read. Preparation for death and dying was never a thing in my Pakeha upbringing either. I think we do it a bit better now thanks in my view to Maori cultural influences but it can still be knarly. Take care.
Much love to you, Nick. I have had a few close deaths in recent years....it comes with my age, and I am now far more relaxed, but the pain of separation is always there and regrets of things not done!!!
Even though I don’t earn a lot, I will keep subscribing Nick, as the world is becoming so mad and broken and I know that I will get quality, common sense, empathy and honesty from your writing.
Sending much sympathy for what your friend and you are facing.
Thank you Jude, there is certainly no shortage of things to write about. I'm glad if I can help with a bit of humour or say things that other people are feeling.
It's hard when old friends pass on, or are suffering one of those illnesses that debilitate and rob them of a full life. My thoughts are with you.
At 77, I've experienced and am experiencing this time of life with friends and family. It's important, I think, to live each day as much as we can. We're all going at some stage, and while living in the "now", we need to plan for the finale, as well.
Go well, Nick. Treasure all the times you have had with Keith over the years.
Losing someone close to you is hard and git wrenching. I lost my mum when I was 15. Life has never been the same without mum; my wedding and my babies. Kia kaha Nick and Arohanui to you, your whanau and friends.
Oh, Marilyn - how sad not to have your mum for all those special times in your life, and growing from girl to woman without her there to guide you 💗
That was a very moving read Nick, I am in the same situation at the moment.
I have asked you in the past if you would be willing to put your bank account deets online for those who might wish to pitch in a little extra on top of our subs? You replied you were hesitant to do so (for good reasons) but you might wish to reconsider. I for one would be happy to do this alongside my regular sub.
🫂Most Substack subscription pages have an option for a "Gift Subscription" & some writers use those to offset people who CAN'T pay - you can chose just a month or whatever & that would top-up Nick a little. I also know some who have a "Tip-Jar" in their articles for those such as yourself & others who want to give a little bit outside of subs - good writing is worth supporting eh 🫂
It was very brave of you ick to share with us your experience of your dying friend. It's a grown thing to do.
I hope you got the chance to tell him how much he meant to you. That might give you some comfort.
Sorry Nick My laptop doesn't respect "N" for some reason so it skipped that on my reply. apologies
I feel for you Nick and it’s great that you were able to see your friend and honour your friendship.
Funnily enough (or not) I have also spent two days visiting my lovely brother who lives in Rotorua, who is in a similar situation. I’m back home in Auckland early next week.
He’s younger than me and it feels strange that I’m still ok, given the age difference. Who knows why or when.
All the very best Nick.
Sorry to hear that Val, as you say, the why and when is so unfathomable.
Friends and whanau - that’s what we all need and will miss the most.
A most moving post Nick and glad writing it down helped. As for today’s music pick, one of the best groups ever and one great guitarist.
You have said precisely what I was planning on saying, Mac. Thanks
Kia ora Nick.
My aroha goes out to you as you go about trying to come to terms with what I'm assuming is your mate's death.
Death is one of those things that one thinks they are prepared for but when death comes to someone you love, it sends you into a real tailspin.
If you ever need an ear, please don't hesitate to message me.
Thanks, Josephine; I've lost friends and family, but not someone this close when he goes. Appreciate your kindness, as always :)
Just kick back and soak up the last few days you’ve had. Your friendship with Keith for so long has earned you that. Be a bit “selfish”. I’m sure the world won’t mind🤔. I’ve been in your situation far too many times so like Josephine says, if you need an ear,a shoulder or a Zero Peroni or 10, I think you have my number. Please feel free. All the best.
Thanks, mate - it's appreciated. 🙂
It’s meant 👍
Wot, Jeremy said. Nick, I feel your pain. Sorry to say as we get to be old farts going to funerals almost gets to be a ritual. Doesn't make it any easier for the special ones.
Beautifully written Nick and I thank you. I hope that writing it and sharing it « with all us beautiful people » reminded you of the good times, the challenges, joys and absolute love.
What I’ve learnt about death, after my folks passing slowly, but not easily and my partner being killed instantly. Is never leave anything unsaid.
Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men capture it perfectly for me…. One Sweet Day
https://pillowlyrics.com/one-sweet-day-mariah-carey
Beautifully written as always and very poignant. Friends and whanau are so important. I’m 77 now and dealing with death and dying doesn’t get any easier but I think it’s a huge comfort to those suffering to have friends and whanau around ..
On the issue of subscribing to your newsletter- I think it’s well worth the subscription but I had been thinking that as most of them are now free there is no point in subscribing. It’s a bit of juggle , I know ,when you’re trying to balance getting more readers on board and making subscribing worthwhile . Hope it works out for you.
Thanks, Lois. Appreciate your kind thoughts.
Ahh Nick,
E kore au e ngaro, he kākano I this mai a Rangiātea
I shall never be lost, I am a seed sown in the heavens of Rangiatea
As is Keith, as are we all. Westerners tend to avoid speaking of death and decline, and not deal with it as a sad but natural part of life. Some are learning. Did you know you can train in Aotearoa now to be an End of Life doula? Guiding the person leaving in the way a birth doula guides the hapu woman and whanau. Tikanga Māori and many indigenous customs have a healthier acceptance of death, while still raging against the dying of the light.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I lost a new, unexpected soulmate love six years ago
As to subscribers, times are hard. I’ve taken a weekend job and wish I could subscribe to many more people - you are the only one I do because I cannot afford more. (I also bought a subscription to Jeff Tiedrich simply so I could comment, but regretted falling into that comments bog and canceled.)
Don’t think the issue is your writing or that it is not valued, just know that people are rationing food so paying for words, however wise, becomes a luxury. I wish you good fortune, literally.
Thank you, Tracie. I appreciate the proverb and your comments.
A moving post Nick😔 The big C absolutely sucks😥 You wear your heart on your sleeve🙏🏽 its one of the reasons I will keep subscribing to you - you are real❤️
Thanks very much, Rob. ❤️
Totally agree with you Rob.
Sending big hugs to Nick 🤗
Nga mihi nui Nick, thanks for sharing such a poignant read. Preparation for death and dying was never a thing in my Pakeha upbringing either. I think we do it a bit better now thanks in my view to Maori cultural influences but it can still be knarly. Take care.
Thanks, David. I agree with your view.
Much love to you, Nick. I have had a few close deaths in recent years....it comes with my age, and I am now far more relaxed, but the pain of separation is always there and regrets of things not done!!!
Be kind to yourself.
Thanks, Marian. Appreciate the thoughts.
Even though I don’t earn a lot, I will keep subscribing Nick, as the world is becoming so mad and broken and I know that I will get quality, common sense, empathy and honesty from your writing.
Sending much sympathy for what your friend and you are facing.
Thank you Jude, there is certainly no shortage of things to write about. I'm glad if I can help with a bit of humour or say things that other people are feeling.
Thinking of you, Nick. It’s never easy to say goodbye.