Handy Andy

The Minister who had to sack himself.

Stay where you are
You're not going, just leaving
I will sit around, let everybody talk
And they will say what they know
They will end up believing
I will sit around, let everybody talk

Andrew by Fur Patrol.

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Around lunchtime yesterday, I started seeing notifications about Andrew Bayly’s resignation. To be honest, I quite enjoyed the news; it felt like he had it coming.

Still, it made me wonder how National could possibly replace him and what he must have done this time, considering what he’d done previously without feeling the need to resign.

I am kidding, by the way, about there being any difficulty replacing him. If National are in need of another blustering buffoon who likes a drink or six, then I suspect they’ve got a few possible candidates in the ranks.

Are you kidding? Doing the best part of who knows what while getting on the plonk and calling regular plebs “losers”? That probably covers the bucket-list ambitions of half of their caucus.

It occurred to me that if this was so much worse than his previous actions, why was he allowed to resign, in his own good time, rather than being sacked?

Was it a case of all being honourable gentlemen together, or was Luxon spineless? To be fair, it looked like a bit of both. For a party that likes to punish people, the Nats are remarkably forgiving of their own.

1 News coverage.

Bayly called the event an “altercation,” but I’m going with “unwelcome touching,” as his word is a bit wishy-washy and suggests either party could be at fault.

Regardless of what we call it, the incident involving the minister and staffer took place on Tuesday evening. The Prime Minister’s office was informed about it last Wednesday. The incident was discussed on Thursday—I appreciate this is starting to sound like a Craig David song—and then, on Friday, Bayly resigned.

I have no idea why it took three days from the event until the resignation, but let’s just assume the former minister eventually realised that physically handling people wasn’t such a great look, given that pretty much everyone, other than Christopher Luxon, thought he should’ve been sacked the last time.

I’m sure you remember that. Bayly mocked a worker for being diligent in his work before abusing him for not accepting an invitation to have a drink.

Even Friday's resignation wasn’t the end of the story. They then gave Bayly until Monday before releasing the news. I suppose we should be grateful they didn’t quietly slip it out last thing on Friday.

At yesterday’s press conference, Bayly told the media, “There are times when you need to hold yourself to account.” By this, he presumably meant six days after the event and once you’ve explored every other alternative.

Eventually, he produced a second line, “Today is one of those days”. He was laying it on thick, with all the sincerity of a reality TV show contestant.

Then, another line: “I have made the personal choice…” he said, emphasising the “personal,” and throwing Christopher “no nuts” Luxon under a bus.

Look, I’m sure the Prime Minister can thump the table behind closed doors, but have you ever seen him do anything, anything at all, that in any way resembled leadership?

At least he accepted Bayly’s resignation; it was literally the least he could do.

During the four-minute-long appearance, Bayly said he was animated, which he clarified as meaning “lively”, and that by grabbing the staffer, he meant he “held their arm”.

You know, just like Christopher Luxon does when he goes overseas and grabs the arms of foreign leaders as he meets them, regardless of their local customs.

“What is this action called?” Image: The Spinoff.

As for the cause of the altercation - apparently, the minister was “impatient to drive change in his portfolios”. Sorry, what?

The Minister manhandled one of his staff out of frustration at his own ineffectiveness, and we’re just going to leave it there? Where were the questions asking what it was about or whether, given his history, Bayly had been drinking? Did he shout, swear, or call anyone a loser? The questions shown in the 1 News report were decidedly weak.

Christopher Luxon - the man in charge.

The PM appeared flustered and anything but Prime Ministerial during the next segment. He didn’t look as if he wanted to answer questions about this, as he was there to talk about cracking down on gangs, not the standards of his ministers. Luxon said that it was good that Bayly recognised he hadn’t met his own standards.

Well, isn’t that nice then? We’re relying on ministers’ own consciences, are we? For the love of god, man, it’s not about Bayly’s standards; they seem ordinary - at best. We’re interested in your standards. Do you have any?

Labour leader Chris Hipkins looked stunned when he was asked about Bayly continuing to do media interviews while this process was going on as if nothing had happened.

What is going on in the National Party? Surely, at the very least, you suspend the guy while you’re investigating; you are investigating, right?

Luxon described his need to be involved as hypothetical because Bayly had not met his own high standards. This is a mighty hands-off approach for a full-time leader without a portfolio.

Andrew Bayly is no longer a minister but remains the MP for Port Waikato. I appreciate that he hasn’t broken the law, but does it seem right to you that he holds such a role in the community?

Apart from the fact that losing people is a bad look, I don’t understand why National holds on to these liabilities. People like Bayly, Uffindell, and so many others over the years would’ve been finished if they were in any other party.

Maiki Sherman didn’t seem to think that Bayly’s indiscretions were that bad, which was a change for the media, which normally demands high standards, at least of the left. I don’t want that to sound like some partisan whine, but c’mon - when these things happen, Labour and the Greens investigate, while National sweeps them under the rug.

Maiki told us the grabbing was not violent and not sexual, so just some non-violent, non-sexual grabbing, then?

But still non-consensual, right? I mean, we don’t get to go around just grabbing people in a workplace with, I assume, a large power imbalance, right?

Bayly’s behaviour was referred to as overbearing, so a definition:

An overbearing person is someone who is excessively domineering, controlling, or assertive, often to the point of being intrusive or oppressive. They may impose their opinions, desires, or authority on others, disregarding others' feelings, autonomy, or perspectives.

Which is not ideal in the workplace or anywhere.

Image: BeFunky.

3 News/Stuff Coverage.

Unlike 1 News, TV 3’s Stuff report showed Bayly being asked if a complaint had been made. He looked rather sheepish as if this was not something he had intended to discuss before agreeing that, in fact, a complaint had indeed been made.

It was clearer in the Stuff report that Luxon had not been informed until Thursday, which raises the question of what is happening in the PM’s Office that they don’t inform him until the next day when one of his ministers has done something that requires action. It seems far-fetched to me, or does Christopher prefer not to be disturbed by such minor details?

Luxon said that Bayly called to resign “very, very late” on Friday, which made me wonder what the PM would’ve done if he hadn’t called. Would he still be waiting by the phone now?

Stuff’s report showed that not only Bayly but also Christopher Luxon had been fronting the media while this was happening. Jenna showed a smiling Luxon talking to the media on Saturday and completely ignoring the resignation of the night before.

I don’t normally watch both major news bulletins, but when compared side by side, the Stuff coverage was far more informative. The 1 News report was basically, “Nothing to see here; the loser has resigned, and there’s no splatter back on Luxon, so let’s move on…”

Unable to read the room, Luxon even had the temerity to say, after sitting on the news for days, that they had acted quickly. Honestly, the standards the PM holds himself and his team to are abysmal.

Chris Hipkins was shown saying that he couldn’t recall ever seeing a minister resign and the government simply not telling anyone for days.

Labour leader Chris Hipkins speaks at a media stand-up from Parliament on 24 February 2025. Photo: RNZ / Reece Baker.

Jenna asked Chippy how long he would give people to tell their families, and he said a couple of hours, which seems reasonable. If Bayly’s conscience hadn’t taken three days to kick in, he would’ve had almost a week to tell them.

Luxon and Bayly sang from the same song sheet that this was happening of the former minister’s volition, although given that he’d told us there had been a complaint that seemed a bit rich. Not quite your own volition there, was it, Andrew?

Chippy recalled there being an incident where he had received a minister’s resignation, but he refused to accept it and dismissed him instead. I assumed he meant Stuart Nash, and that was confirmed in RNZ’s article Three days' grace for Andrew Bayly raises more questions

Doing what is right rather than what is easy is what a leader does, not this old boy’s network. Stand down, old chap, and go sit in the back benches with your honour intact until it all blows over. Give me a bucket.

Curiously, Jenna, just as Maiki had, gave the same clarification that the grabbing wasn’t violent or sexual. I don’t want to appear too cynical, but the similarity of the cautions seemed quite uncanny.

Jenna had more to add than Maiki, saying it was her understanding that initially, Bayly didn’t think there was an issue. It wasn’t until the complaint came along, and even then, it took him a couple of days, that he recognised something wrong had occurred.

Which made his, and Christopher Luxon’s claims of having decided, of his own volition, that he’d fallen short of his own standards, ring very hollow.

Have a great day, all you lovely people, and if you’re not yet a subscriber, join my kōrero for a humorous take on politics from a left-wing perspective. 🙂

To end, here’s Andrew from Fur Patrol.