Oh, Jokerman
KeriKeri, Waitangi, Akaroa, and Guy Williams.
Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune
Bird fly high by the light of the moon
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman
Song by Bob Dylan.
Morena folks, I hope this fine morning of the 7th of February finds you well. We're still close to Paihia, just a short drive out of town. Below is the view this morning.
Thank you for the kind messages about yesterday’s Right Where We Belong newsletter. I really appreciated hearing your feedback and that I’d managed to convey something of the feeling of being at Waitangi. It was lovely to receive your suggestions for things to do in the area, offers of cups of tea or even somewhere to stay next time.
Last evening, as we wandered around looking for somewhere to eat, we ran into Rita, my daughter’s Kaimanaaki at te Kura, who you might remember from the newsletter before last, Going Up the Country, about a letter her iwi had written to the King. We hadn’t met before, so it was lovely to put a face to the name and say hello.
Unfortunately, things weren’t so good on the subscription front; I ended the day with fewer subscribers than I began with, which, as I’m sure you can imagine, was disappointing.
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Right, let’s get to it…
Yesterday morning, we headed back towards Waitangi with no fixed plans. Having spent the full day there the day before, I’m afraid we hadn’t felt the need to head back for the dawn service, as wonderful as that experience would’ve been. I saw snippets as I finished my newsletter, and it looked like Chippy spoke well again.
While I think of it, last night over dinner, we talked about how with the way he had spoken, and interacted with people it felt like Chippy was the de facto leader of our country - he was doing the things that you’d expect a Prime Minister to be doing, and he looked like a leader.
As we rounded the headland where Paihia becomes Waitangi, it became apparent that an enormous mass of humanity was arriving all at once. Cars were strewn anywhere they could be abandoned, up banks, I saw one car with only three wheels on the ground, such was the improbability of the parking spot. About the only folks moving about relatively freely were on horseback.
We took the northern route out of Paihia, watching the traffic flowing into town. Bumper to bumper, hundreds of cars and a growing realisation that we wouldn’t be heading back anytime soon. The queue went for 10km. We headed north.
I should add that I thought the organisation at Waitangi was excellent. Clearly, a lot of planning had gone into providing park-and-rides on the outskirts of town, and when we returned, we were surprised at how quickly the backlog had been cleared.
The Police, Māori wardens, and local organisers made it a relaxed event considering the pressures of such an influx of people. The approach was more of guidance than being overly officious; the people who run Eden Park could take note that it’s possible to allow a bit of fun without needing to be draconian.
Looking at the map, Kerikeri seemed the obvious place to fill in time.
100,000 Māori and 2,000 Europeans
Many of our provincial towns are not that attractive on first sight, but I was struck by how lovely Kerikeri is.
It looked as if the layout and the roading system had been designed by someone who wasn’t insane, so that made a nice change from home. Perhaps it was the day's mood, but I thought the place was very nice. I spied a touristy location called the Stone Store on the map, so we headed that way.
As it was Waitangi Day, both the Stone Store and the adjacent Kemp House, our oldest building, were free. I’d highly recommend a visit; both buildings were fascinating, with well-maintained exhibits and historical information.
You might notice the pink car in the photo - our daughter’s Barbie mobile. That’s us, and it has garnered a few comments while driving around town. To be fair, I don’t imagine you see too many bright pink cars up this way.
Fi is as much a fan of history as I. So, as I sat by the river afterwards, posting photos, I assumed she was still reading about the times and people inside. However, she was discovering a new ‘project’: early colonial era quilting, and she emerged with a bag of fabrics, brimming with excitement.
Later, over dinner, our conversation veered to considering how well AI might come up with an appropriate pattern. Let’s just say that I’m glad the AI didn’t design Kerikeri’s roading system; its design looked a bit like the images people draw while on acid.
I hope our colonial history is better taught in schools than in my day; it’s a fascinating part of our history and of the Waitangi story. I was especially struck by a sign in front of the Kemp house that showed the relative population sizes of the time. 100,000 Māori and just 2,000 Europeans.
Some of them were missionaries, but many were drunken scoundrels. It puts pay to the lie that Māoridom would have ceded their sovereignty under such conditions; the idea is laughable and yet quite attractive to those who support Seymour’s bill.
Mary, whom I met at the hikoi last year in Tamaki Makaurau, commented, “The Kerikeri mission house and the stone store are very important to me. I am proud to tell you they are part of my whakapapa. James and Charlotte Kemp were my great, great, great grandparents.”
Mary’s ancestors co-founded the mission in Kerikeri, taught in the school there, and had eight children.
From there, we drove around a bit, spotted a place called “Aroha Island” and considered going just to take a photo to send to the kids as a piss-take on the notoriously appalling Love Island TV franchise that has been lowering the IQ of younger generations in recent years. Instead, we ended up at Rainbow Falls, which I’d not heard of but were really spectacular.
Meanwhile in Akaroa
As tens of thousands of people were enjoying Waitangi and we stopped for a bite, I received updates from Akaroa where Christopher Luxon was spending the day. Your fellow reader Joe was there providing an on-the-spot report - thanks very much for the words and photos, mate.
His first message said, “Luxon, Brownlee and Bishop. Let’s get all the arseholes in one place.”
Then, “Luxon speaking now. Palestinian protesters are causing disruption outside the marae. As you would expect on the marae, grievances are stated and acknowledged, but the feeling is welcoming.”
Apparently, the Prime Minister kept saying “for ALL Kiwis”, just like Seymour, although I’m guessing with fewer “White Lives Matter” vibes.
Joe said that Luxon was applauded when he said the Treaty Principles Bill would not become law. The general feeling of his speech was that he acknowledged the challenges, appreciated the success of Ngai Tahu and wanted to move forward. Action is everything.
So that sounded like typical Luxon, “Nothing to see here, let’s move on - Action!”
Joe said that Justin Tipa, the Kaiwhakahaere-chair of Te Runanga o Ngai Tahu, spoke well. Opening and closing by saying “We are not the radicals”. That minor parties have dominated the Treaty debate.
Tipa had a go at Luxon’s leadership and a dig at Act (Faux liberalism). Saying that, “a National party who fails to take leadership of the treaty debate for all people is not worthy of its name.” He asked Luxon to put a stake in the ground, saying that disagreements in good faith are fine, but we are failing at that now.
Williams vs Seymour
I was quite amused to read about an encounter between comedian Guy Williams and ACT leader David Seymour at Waitangi. The following (paywalled) exchange is from the Herald:
Seymour: “Pouring poison in one’s ear is a quote from Hamlet about putting mistruths in people’s minds, and I believe that’s what people have done about my Bill”.
Williams: “A lot of people are saying that’s what you’re doing. You’re spreading misinformation”.
Seymour: “Can you give me an example?”
Williams: “You’re trying to say that Māori are causing divisions and racist - it seems like that’s what you’re doing”.
Seymour: “No, I’ve never said that at all”.
Williams pushed further, insisting Seymour had said it many times - “don’t lie to me”.
Seymour: “I’ve never said that at all. That’s why you’re not a real journalist. These guys are. What I have said consistently is the idea that the Treaty formed a partnership between races... is inherently divisive as an idea.”
Williams took on Seymour again a few minutes later. “You’re saying I’m not a real journalist, but even I can see through this bullshit. You’re spinning shit”.
Seymour: “It’s worse than that. You’re not even a real comedian”.
Williams: “OK, well, that’s fair. But.. I feel like you’re setting the narrative and then saying everyone who argues with you is an idiot when really people have been very clear about their arguments. You’re being dismissive because you want to control the narrative. You’re not in it for ideas, you’re in it for asset sales and for creating division to win political votes. That’s what I think.”
Seymour: “When I grew up as a kid in this country, comedians were funny. They were clever, they were witty. What’s gone wrong?”.
Williams: “I think I’m all right”.
Seymour: “Yeah, I know. You’re the only person who thinks that”.
Williams: “When I grew up, politicians were a bit more honest”.
A few journalists in this country should hang their heads in shame. Guy Williams may well be a comedian, but our official reporters could take a leaf out of his book and challenge Seymour’s spin a lot more.
As for Seymour, I think he should leave the funny stuff to Mr Williams and concentrate on honesty.
Guy Williams, the Jokerman in our title, is not everyone’s cup of tea, but I like him. My son Johnny and I enjoy watching his quirky tales of kooky Kiwiana - seeing those stories on our screens is good.
I remember seeing him at the Hikoi in Auckland as I stood alongside Mary, mentioned earlier, and watching him interact with the kids when the cameras weren’t rolling, making them laugh. He’s a good human being.
Well, that feels like a good place to leave things this morning. It feels like time for some breakfast and to get out and see the day. I’m guessing not too many folks are working today with an easy four-day weekend with a single day of leave. To end, here is one of my favourite songs by Bob Dylan - Jokerman. I hope all you lovely people have a great day. 🙂
That bloody Seymour - just belittling people because he doesn't have an answer to the hard questions. And.. we've had more coverage of his engagement to some poor deluded schmuck (oooo am I belittling people now? Why yes) than proper news.
Sorry to hear you're losing subscribers, hopefully not too many. Your writing is great, informative, fun and always on point. Keep it up!
Nick - I find I'm getting as much "news" from your great work now as from any other outlet. It's fascinating seeing you transition to essentially be a first-hand reporter in what I suspect is the future of media. I'd love to see you take on Seymour etc, I wonder what it takes to get in at press conferences. If Bernard can do it, why can't you?