The Masterplan.
Are you part of it?
Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Sail them home with Acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they land upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Say it loud and sing it proud today
“We have a plan New Zealand. We know what you want. You want the money New Zealand, that’s what you want. Forget the bag, you don’t want the bag, no one wants the bag any more. Take the money. The cold hard cash. Buy anything you like.”
“In the New Zealand that I lead you will all get the cash, and you can use it to buy whatever you want. You can buy Ice Cream! Do you hear that Aotearoa? That other guy is offering you GST off your broccoli and I’m telling you that you can have Ice Cream! Here let me make you one, I love rolling my sleeves up and getting stuck in.”
“And do you know who’s going to pay for it? Gamblers, no one cares about gamblers, except of course our friends at SkyCity - love you guys, love ya. Those people overseas with all their lovely money, let’s have some of that eh. Cor, they’ve got a lot. Most of all the bureaucrats, they’re going to pay the most. Those people sitting behind their desks, doing whatever they do - we’re getting rid of them.”
“We’re going to give you tax cuts and overseas property investors are going to pay. Obviously they get to keep the houses, and we can only sell them once, but c’mon - Ice Cream? I like Hokey Pokey myself. As Kiwi as tax cuts for Ice Cream, as safe as houses.”
“Some negative nincompoops are saying there are all sorts of holes in our masterplan. Well I can confirm for you that there aren’t. So it’s all good ok. Look at my big smile New Zealand - I want you to have Ice Cream, or beer, or hamburgers, whatever you want, don’t forget it’s your money.”
“So here’s the plan. First you give us those two blue ticks. Then we sell off the houses, and sack all those pencil pushers in the government. Finally we go to the shops and buy whatever our heart desires. Don’t forget, mine’s a Hokey Pokey.”
“In the rest of the campaign you might see clever words from other people that want to lead, but just remember I am one of you. I am you! Heck I’ve never even done a silly debate. Would I lie to you?”
And then
Dance if you wanna dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we don't know
How it's gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand won't make us understand
We're all part of the masterplan
“Over the last few years we’ve done the hard yards, things are turning a corner and getting better. Do not lose hope, we’re going to win this thing, but we need you to help us so that we can help you. You know who is helping the other lot - the unscrupulous boss that wants to pay you less, the one that wants you to have fewer protections in your job.”
“Christopher Luxon says he has a plan. He certainly does have a masterplan. It ignores all our long term problems, it ignores those in need, and it ignores you if you’re not a property investor.”
“We have a plan that we’re sticking to. We’re still sorting out public services, we’ve spent a lot of money towards getting our health system and our schools back on…”
“Oh um, back where they were before the other lot starved them of funding increases. We’re building for the future so that good quality services are available to all of you.”
“We’ve helped out our most vulnerable from minimum wage increases to winter energy payments. We will continue to look after those who need it most, and to improve the lives of all New Zealanders - that’s what we do.”
“You’re part of my plan - you are my plan. That’s what I’m here for - you. Unlike some other people who are just here to make their rich mates even more wealthy.”
Say it loud and sing it proud today
I'm not saying right is wrong
It's up to us to make
The best of all the things that come our way
'Cause everything that's been has passed
The answer's in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
On life's endless corridor
Say it loud and sing it proud
“What if they win, I don’t think I could stand it. The haters that drove Jacinda out, it’s not bloody right. This government has done the best they could, best anyone could, with the circumstances they were dealt. And now we’re going to turn our backs on them, turf them out and tell them we didn’t appreciate it? Fuck that.”
“Why the bloody hell can’t people see the reality, are we children? We’re rebuilding out of a hard challenging time but there is light ahead.”
“Actually, you could explain this pretty easily to children, it’s not hard to understand, they’d definitely understand. It’s adults that don’t seem capable of seeing the bigger picture.”
“Inflation will come down, the economy is doing pretty well all things considered. There are still strikes but they’ve made things a lot better for many, sure as heck a lot more than any of them would have gotten under the other lot.”
“I remember when they came into government it was like a weight had been lifted off of us after the Key government. It feels like that weight is descending again and I can’t stand it.”
“When Jacinda took over she said we had to run the campaign of our lives, that’s what we have to do. A lot of people seem to be buying into this plan of theirs, where we don’t worry about tomorrow and just have a bit of a spend up, it does sound nice, doesn’t it?”
“Aye it does, but it’s not real. We’re adults with responsibilities and realities, this isn’t the time to have tax cuts, especially not if we’re going to flog off houses to people overseas to pay for them. It’s not much of a long term plan, is it?”
“No, it really isn’t. Surely people don’t want to see us selling off our country just for a short term fix?”
“Yeah but to these guys it’s just upside. Money comes in, house prices go up, people selling the houses cash in, lots of people make a lot of money. The tax cut thing is just a distraction from their Masterplan.”
“Which is?”
“To get back on track to how things were under Key. Survival of the fittest. I’m all right Jack, screw the other guy. Winners get in on the property market pyramid scheme, get rich off the back of other people. And the losers, the bottom feeders, who cares?”
“And that’s what people want?”
“Guess we’ll find out a month from today.”
Life on the other hand won't make us understand
We're all part of the masterplan
The lyrics in this newsletter, and it’s title, are from a young man who grew up in Manchester wanting to be a Beatle.
His band weren’t the Beatles, although they did sound a bit like them, but they were very very good. This song, if you can believe it, was a B-side! I think it’s a masterpiece, and it really takes me back to the 90s.
Well just look at that , lyin luxon cannot even tell the truth about his debating history - why have the media not exposed this .....
Just another wee lie, then..