The Plastic Pig Collective and Chris' Imaginary Friends.

I think our lives have just begun.

I can't remember when it was good
Moments of happiness in bloom
Maybe I just misunderstood
All of the love we left behind
Watching our flashbacks intertwine
Memories I will never find
In spite of whatever you become
Forget that reckless thing turned on
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun

Does anyone else feel like the world has gone a bit crazy. That we’re on this weird ride together which has inexplicably turned into a ghost train hurtling out of control through the darkest recesses of David Seymour’s brain?

There are so many things that don’t make sense, we need to grab hold tight to one another, and the good that remains. Fortunately there’s lots of good stuff as well as things that make us shake our heads. Turing them left and right, as Christopher Luxon does when he’s pretending to tell the truth.

How’s this for mental? A couple of Karen’s have complained about a Te Whatu Ora employee using te reo, and now the worker has been banned from doing so.

Isn’t that insane? That someone could be told off for, and instructed not to continue, using an official language of this country? That doesn’t seem right.

I don’t know about you but when I get correspondence saying “kia ora”, or “ngā mihi”, it gladdens my heart and makes me think I should do better.

Sometimes I get communications with te reo words that I don’t understand, and do you know what I do? I look them up, and I learn something, and it’s all fine. It wouldn’t occur to me to write a letter of complaint. Who does that?

Louise Upston Photo: RNZ / Chris Bramwell.

Perhaps I’m being unfair on Karens. Actually if anyone fits the image in my mind of what these people would look like it’s the Minister for Bene Bashing, Tough Love Barbie, Louise Upston. I think we should embrace that name instead.

What’s more Kiwi than saying Jeez Louise, rather than a couple of Karens?

Speaking of things Mattel, you might have seen Ryan Gosling’s fabulous performance of “I’m Just Ken” from the Oscars the other day.

I thought it was pretty great. Although we should spare a thought for the poor blubbering Trumptards crying over the “woke liberal elite” into their kool aid. Mind you I’m not sure how I feel about Slash being a Barbie accessory.

This morning the wonderful Simon Prast posted a local version…

'Cause I'm just Chris, anywhere else I'd be a miss
Is it my destiny to live and die a life of bald fragility?
I'm just Chris
When I need love, I increase rent
What will it take for them to see
the lord behind the land and worship me?

Poor Christopher has had a rough couple of weeks. His entitlement and complete lack of understanding, or interest, in the lives of many Kiwis, has been fully on display.

@CV_Nicks (no relation) summed things up well on Twitter with this:

Image: @CV_Nicks.

On a more serious note, we saw some pretty revolting behaviour yesterday. Confirming that even when people are down the vultures will attack. This occurred as Golriz Ghahraman plead guilty in court to her shoplifting charges.

Anyone with a shred of decency might have shut up at that point, or even shown some compassion for a troubled person who has had an enormous fall from grace.

The amount that this human being has been put through is a lot - for the theft of some clothes. It’s a lot, and massively disproportionate to the punishment others receive over much more serious crimes. Yet there were people who took joy in it and wanted to put the boot in.

My apologies for the following vulgarity, I appreciate many do not like seeing or hearing that word used. In my defense I don’t use it often, and this seemed like the appropriate time.

I did receive quite a few suggestions for the collective term. Pack of course. It just works together, and rolls off the tongue.

Todd suggested “C*nti”, which I thought sounded like a play on illuminati, but it turns out he was thinking more of “fungi”.

Greg wrote “I am struggling to understand why she was not offered diversion. Slater was offered diversion for being involved in an attempted hack on The Standard, and we were not even asked what we thought about it.”

Farrar (not Farrier), Key, and Slater. Photo: Norrie Montgomery.

Halina said “I was impressed with how TV1 handled the story tonight. Much better than Three news. They focused on the online bullying and the mental health aspect. Kudos to them.”

The simplest of answers was suggested on Twitter. The collective term should be a...... coalition. Feel free to use it in a sentence 🙂

Staying awake to chase a dream
Tasting the air you're breathing in
I hope I won't forget a thing
I wish to hold you close and pray
Watching our fantasies decay
Nothing will ever stay the same
And all of the love we threw away
And all of the hopes we've cherished fade
Making the same mistakes again
Making the same mistakes again

Attacking someone suffering mental health issues is pretty low, so let’s go back to something a little more lighthearted.

I was amused to see Christopher Bishop having a moan about the Free (Far Right) Speech Union. A collection of libertarian luminaries, Jordan Williams, Stephen Franks, Ani O’Brien, and their new pal Trotter, less Trotsky than once he was. Together they defend the rights of those wishing to spread hate and prejudice, without criticism.

I reposted it with the comment “When the hate speech support group you love turns their sights on you. Poor Christopher, what next - the Taxpayers Union questioning wasteful spending by the wealthy and entitled? As if!”

Of course the Taxpayer’s Union (TPU), you know that perk busting pig and his stuffed mascot, would never say anything critical about National. They aren’t opposed to spending on the wealthy. Some troughers are more equal than others.

Porky and Pig. Photo: Kent Blechynden / Stuff.

I scrolled through the TPU’s tweets to see what they made of Christopher Luxon rorting the taxpayer for a grand a week, to live in his own, mortgage free, apartment. Virtually nothing at all. On the day it all blew up there is just a solitary tweet saying “Luxon is paying back. Happy Friday everyone.” Real subtle guys.

Before you jump to the conclusion that the TPU aren’t even really focussed on perk busting, that they’re just left busting and a lobby group for the non-centre right. Rest assured they did at least complain about National’s surprise new motoring taxes.

That’s enough to make a little piggy squeal. As if you posted the things they said in private to Cameron Slater on the merits, and purpose of women. I’ll save you that, and myself another tiresome, threatening plea for grossly undeserved forgiveness.

Another story for another day.