25 Comments

This was brilliant Nick. You have captured the machinations of each of these characters so well and also the alternatives to reform. It's a certainty that most mayors and councillors around the country haven't even read the proposals detailed in the Three Waters policy and neither has Luxon.

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Brilliant as always. Everyone should read this, the whole problem in a nutshell.

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Yep I shared it as soon as I'd read it👍

Nick you have nailed it yet again 👏

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Thanks very much for the feedback, and I really appreciate having it shared with folks who might not see it otherwise.

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I have spent many years working with prisoners. They have given me a good idea of the way many of the population think - literally, not metaphorically. I cringe when I see many of the advertising campaigns the clever dicks think up for government information purposes. The 3 Waters Campaign was a prime example. When the ads first started appearing even I was puzzled. What were they trying to say? A simple, clear message at the outset would have circumvented much of what has since happened. The general public were never brought on board and from there it went from bad to worse.

Instead of testing ads on "think tanks" they should be tested on intermediate school children, because if they are too obscure for them, the ads should be strangled at birth.

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Brilliant!

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Brilliantly written and so accurate Nick - I miss Queen Hyacinth as well!

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Just terrific - one of your best pieces for sure. (And they're all good!)

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Thanks Alison, irs nice to get your comment, you never quite know whether people have liked one or not. I quite enjoyed writing it. Alas poor Maid Marion ended up on the chopping room floor. She was the actual leader of the gang even though the others didn’t realise it and was played by Nicola Willis.

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Excellent Nick. You have summed it up so well.I hope the government don't back away from these reforms even though it could cost them the election. Brown and Co want the government to fund their water infrastructure but have no control over what happens with that money.. The issue of Māori having a co-governance role guaranteed by Te Tiriti O Waitangi is the elephant in the room.

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on RNZ yesterday morning the Wellington Mayor was very much in favour of 3 Waters and dismissed the alternative offering from Declare an Emergency Brown and co.

I read the Hollow Men the other day and guess who was advising Brash during his short tenure at the helm of the Nats ? one Mathew Hooton , now considering his track record of failure , what does this portend for Brown ? A Commissioner within 12 months ???

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Yes I heard that interview, hence the character "Tory the Green", good to have at least one high profile mayor acting positively. No surprises with Hooton, he is dangerous and unhinged from reality.

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Yes, Tory sounds bloody good for Wellington. Luxon on RNZ this morning was very poor , Hooton is a self confessed hard right neo con ....

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Yep - as one of ex local government this is brilliant and spot on. The 3 Waters as major resources - requires expertise - many of the Councils (particularly smaller ones), just can't cope with the management, maintenance and provision for future delivery and protection of water at a quality level. I love you're 'we don't want a water solution imposed on us, we don't wanna be less important etc'. Reality is Councils shouldn't be trying to hold on to their Water responsibilities when they can't provide with the quality needed and certainly not at a cost acceptable to ratepayers. e.g. Currently Masterton's sewage woes and Tararua's Dam $2-3 million investment for a temporary fix!

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Classed as satire but no it is not. Believe or not check your water flow. There are little things lurking in your glass. What fun.

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Brilliant, and still so relevant.

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Great column Nick

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It is a sad tale and true - except no mention of the warrior Druiidess who was in charge of the plan who was charged with making it work for everyone

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I see I commented a year ago, but I'll comment again! Still bl**dy brilliant, young man!

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Loved this it was absolutely delightful! It should go into the category of Aotearoan Nursery Rhymes!! Please publish!!

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