These Days

RIP Nikki Kaye - one of the good ones.

Soon enough it comes
Here it is again
The slowly creeping hand
Of time and its command
Soon enough it comes
And settles in its place
It's shadow in my face
Undignified and lame

Songwriters: Jon Coghill, John Collins, Bernard Fanning, Ian Haug, Darren Middleton.

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This morning, I woke to incessant, high-pitched whining, as if someone had turned on Newstalk ZB. Through the wall, I could hear Johnny watching something. I couldn’t tell if it was motor racing or a video comparing different power saws, but both seemed like unlikely options.

There was too much on my mind to get back to sleep. I lay there tossing and turning before giving up and getting up to write this.

Thoughts of my mate Keith and the awful loss of Nikki Kaye yesterday, eight years after having been diagnosed with breast cancer. Damn, I hate cancer.

Nikki Kaye photographed in 2019. Photo: Ross Giblin/STUFF.

Of my wife, too. This week, she’s in Wellington with our youngest for a movie project, and I miss her. As those counters that are our ages get alarmingly high and we see so many people our age afflicted with this bloody awful illness, it is a strong reminder of how precious time is and how this is not a dress rehearsal.

My wife, Fi, sometimes chides me because I mention the good things about our relationship, not the other stuff. It’s not that she wants to air our dirty laundry in public, but more so that she knows how important it is to me to represent things accurately, albeit from my perspective.

There isn’t a lot of laundry to air. Like every relationship, there are silly arguments, but they pale compared to all the good stuff. It feels tough having her away right now.

Only a few hours of sleep probably doesn’t help, but the sad news about Nikki Kaye intensifies those feelings. When something like this happens, we pause to think and consider things. I saw a headline with the breaking news yesterday morning and posted:

Below are some of the replies I received:

Sarah: “Really sad news. I used to play cricket with her at university, and she always had a wicked sense of humour. Way too young to go.”

Michael: “Yes..one of the few in the Nats that had my respect. Very sad and far too young..”

David: “Agreed, very badly treated by the National Party political machine.” I replied, “She was absolutely hung out to dry when she was deputy; the stress must’ve been enormous.”

I don’t blame Todd Muller for his mental health issues, of course, but I recall at the time how it seemed like the entire weight fell on the shoulders of Nikki as deputy as the rest of her party went missing.

Cath: “So so sad. She was a fabulous local MP for Waiheke. She was so hardworking that she got stuff done. She was a wonderful person with whom I worked closely for years.”

David: “Nikki was an outstanding MP, a cabinet minister when she was 33. A progressive thinker who gave a lot of herself in her short 44 years.”

It was no surprise that Jacinda Ardern, who must’ve known her well, found the words many of us were feeling:

I cried when I saw the headline. It was such a loss—this positive, energetic person who should have had so much life ahead of her. I thought, at one point, she might become Prime Minister. I don’t want to speak badly of anyone else, but I can’t think of many other Nats who would make me tear up at their loss.

Perhaps Marilyn Waring, who is almost thirty years her senior. Another National MP with the courage to cross the floor. We should expect that from all our MPs when their parties depart from where they should be.

Penny: “Exactly! She is just the kind of politician that is needed.....on both sides! Prepared to get the job done and put tribal politics aside. Nikki had integrity.....something of a rare quality in politics.”

Halina: “I always felt she was in the wrong party. Her ongoing relationships with Chloe, Marama, Kiri, and Jacinda speak volumes.”

I thought Stuff did an excellent job covering the news:

Many people have said that Nikki was in the wrong party, mostly suggesting she should have been in the Labour Party. I think that’s partly right; however, with her liberal views and a clear passion for the environment, I think she was more of a Green.

There have been a huge number of tributes in every media outlet about Nikki, but I wanted to share this one:

Marama Davidson wrote on Instagram about telling Kaye of her own battle with cancer earlier this year, before she’d made it public. 

“You knew about my diagnosis long before the public knew and even before most of my own whānau. I’ll never forget your response when the discussion turned from our respective passions and our work — to me asking if I could share something personal with you. 

I said ‘Nikki, I wanted to meet with you today because of your experience being a Minister, at the time of being diagnosed with breast cancer. Because I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer also’. You put your lunch down, stood up and walked over to the other side of the table and hugged me silently for the longest time.

I told my husband last week that I was worried because you hadn’t replied to my latest email, which was so unlike you. I am so sorry to hear of your death, Nikki. Our sharing, even if just for the last part of your time, will stay in my heart and impact me forever. Lover of life, I wish I had been well enough to take up the offer of hiding out on your beloved island [Great Barrier] with you. 

You were a beautiful human. I’ll be keeping you and your people in my heart. He pouri, he mamae, ka tangi.” 

Nikki in the Aotea Conservation Park on Gt Barrier Island. Photo: Audrey Young

But National was Nikki’s home, and there is a history of those with different views co-existing in that party.

To a degree, that started to evaporate as the corporate types, the neoliberals who had more in common with the current Act party than the traditional National party, took over. But even under Key, there was room for different views and encouragement for someone like Kaye, who would speak her mind and stand her ground. There doesn't seem to be much room for different opinions in Christopher Luxon’s National Party.

Considering their actions against Māori, it is hard to imagine that Kaye would have been comfortable in this government. She must have been horrified by some of their actions, especially the fast-track legislation and its implications for the environment she cared so much about.

There is a place for a more business-focused party, and I understand that such will always appeal to some people more than socialism. But those different values do not mean silently supporting the extreme actions of this government, be it the attacks on the public service, the planet, or the foundational arrangement we have of two people sharing this beautiful, abundant place.

What I hope most is that those newer MPs in the National Party, whose votes are needed to pass every piece of legislation, think of Nikki’s values and the respect and love people feel for her in standing up for those.

It is not just that nobody has a bad word about her, but it seems everyone in the media, in politics, regardless of party, and others who encountered her have really positive stories to tell. She has left her mark on so many people whose lives were better for knowing her.

Nikki Kaye at the Currach Irish Pub on Gt Barrier Island in January 2022. Photo: Audrey Young

Nikki Kaye was what we should expect from all politicians. She worked constructively for the people of her constituency and this country, stuck to her values, and was true to what she said. You can’t really ask for more than that.

Some of us don’t know how lucky we are, but I reckon Nikki did, and this place would be much better if there were more like her.

Rest easy, Nikki. You were, without question, one of the good ones, and we can’t expect much more of an epitaph than that. It is hard to think of any other politician so well-regarded by so many.

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I’m guessing quite a few of you won’t be familiar with this song. Give it a listen; you might be pleasantly surprised. Take care, all of you lovely people. 🙂