Luxon's Entitlement.
Things undeserved, and things even worse.
In a time when everybody feels entitled
Why can't I feel entitled too?
Somebody took away my God given right
I guess God must have gave it to you
Yeah, I guess God must have slipped it to you
Sometime after the new government was sworn in an official must’ve had a wee chat with the new Prime Minister about the benefits that came with the job. Let’s imagine the scene…
Scene 1: Luxon sits in his new office. Feet on the desk, and leaning back in his chair with hands clasped behind his head. He’s smiling.
There’s a knock at the door.
Enter.
“Don Gorske here Prime Minister, I just wanted to go over some admin, make sure you know what you’re entitled to.”
Great stuff Don, I like the sound of that. Have a chair. Now are you going to give me the secret codes?
“Secret codes Prime Minister? I was told that you’d lived overseas for many years, but you’re surely aware that we don’t actually have any nuclear weapons, aren’t you?”
Course, I’m just pulling your leg mate - although, if you do happen to know the code for the executive bathroom let me know eh?
At this rate I might have to go in the one the journalists use. It’s bad enough running into them in the corridor without making chit chat with Jason Walls as you shake the old fella.
“No, that does sound unpleasant Prime Minister. Actually I was here to talk to you about your place of residence, the security detail, that sort of thing.”
You know I reckon I’m all good. I’ve got my place in Remuera why would I want anything else? Good neighbourhood, no need to worry about security.
“Well I’m sure your neighbours are lovely people Prime Minister, but you will still need security. You’ll end up with protestors outside your front gate, and what will you do if they get in the house?”
Not to worry Don, not to worry. You see I’ve got a safe room, had it shipped all the way back from the States when I came home.
“You shipped a great big box, made from concrete and steel, halfway around the world to put in your basement?”
Ha, well now you mention it I guess it must have cost quite a bit, never really thought about it. But I was entitled to it. My contract said they’d pay for everything we had to come home.
“That sounds very generous. But I was actually meaning your accommodation in Wellington. Here in this envelope are the keys and all the details you need for your new home at Premier House. I’m sure you’ll love it. If I could be so bold sir, it’s New Zealand’s first home for New Zealand’s first family.”
Hmm, this is awkward, the thing is we feel the older style of property is not really us. We like something clean and modern, so I’m going to have to decline I’m afraid.
“But where will you stay when you’re at parliament? You are intending to attend parliament aren’t you Prime Minister?”
Stop what you're doin' and get back in line
I hear this from people all the time
If we can't be happy then you can't be too
I'm tired of being told what to do
Yeah, I'm sick of being told what to do
Oh definitely. My main value adds are disrupting and synergizing, but I’ll definitely pop in from time to time so the team can remember who’s boss.
Same thing in Wellington, we’re sorted. I’ve got a sweet place here too. It’s not the house in Remmers of course, there won’t be any pool parties - but it’s not exactly the climate anyway, eh Don? It will suffice for our needs.
“That’s very good of you Prime Minister, quite a cost saving for taxpayers. There’s a bit of work to do on the old girl, and your predecessor used to complain about possums in the ceiling.”
For a brief moment it crossed Luxon’s mind that Don was talking about Judith. Not in terms of her being his predecessor, Christopher knew he was referring to Jacinda, but more the maintenance required and the possums in the attic.
Yes, we had some estimates done during the campaign actually, and it looked like it would cost millions to bring Premier House up to standard. We’ll just use the out of town allowance to pay for the other place.
“But you own the other place sir, do you mean to pay off a mortgage?”
Oh no, paid cash for it, best way to get a deal. Really you’d be mad not to Don. No, we just want what we’re entitled to for maintenance, that sort of thing. Don’t want the place falling into disrepair like the old girl. A thousand a week ought to cover it.
“A thousand a week? That’s an awful lot of maintenance, are you sure sir?”
Well yes, you see I’ve checked and it’s what we’re entitled to. $52,000 a year. You know it’s just as well we own the place, you couldn’t rent somewhere suitable for anything like that.
“So just to clarify Prime Minister, what you’re saying is that the taxpayer is going to pay you $1,000 a week to live in your own house?
It’s not really my place to say, but isn’t that potentially a bit of a bad look? What with all of your messages about cutting costs and saving money?”
No worries Don, I’m laser focussed on things looking good, so I decided not to take advantage of the tax breaks for landlords we just reinstated. That would be a bad look.
“Indeed it would sir. Claiming tax benefits as a landlord, for a house you’re being paid rent to live in yourself, could be considered quite poor form.”
Exactly, you’ve got to be sensitive about how things look, even if you’re entitled to them. Personally I’ve never had a problem with getting what I’m entitled to.
“I can well believe it sir. So shall we make Premier House available as emergency housing, for the homeless?”
Luxon looked at Don incredulously.
“Just my little joke Prime Minister, I’ll close the door behind me.”
I can't bring myself to take without penance
Or atonements or sweat from my brow
Though the world may be spoiled and getting worse every day
Don't they feel like they're cheated somehow
I feel like I've been cheatin' somehow
Scene 2: Three months later, Luxon is in the back of a chauffeur driven car talking on the phone.
Don, glad I caught you. These reporters have been asking questions about the housing thing, you remember, for my place in Wellington? Anyway I just wanted to check a few things with you. My understanding is that quite a few MPs, who don’t normally live in Wellington, get an allowance to rent properties they own there.
“It’s good to hear from you again Prime Minister, I suspected I might. Yes, you are quite correct, over the years other MPs have claimed just such an allowance.”
Great, that’s great news Don. So if they’re entitled to it then I’m entitled to it, all makes sense. I’m just getting what everyone else does.
“I assume by everyone else you mean other Members of Parliament, Prime Minister, not in fact everyone. Hmm, well, it’s not quite the same. You of course also have Premier House, a beautiful stately home, which has served your predecessors well.”
What about Chippy, I know he didn’t stay there, so that’s the same.
“I believe Mr Hipkins stayed in his own house in the Hutt, he didn’t claim an allowance.”
You’re kidding, you mean the last PM of NZ was travelling out to his horrid little suburban house and he didn’t even ask to be paid to stay there?
“That appears to be the case sir.”
But surely some of the others must’ve?
“No sir, I’ve been here since you were a school boy and no Prime Minister has claimed that allowance in all of that time.”
What, not even Shipley?
“No, sir. Surprising isn’t it?”
Well I guess I can’t either then, you better cancel it. What’s the use of an entitlement if you can’t even get what you’re entitled to?
“That seems like the right decision sir.”
I guess nobody on Earth is entitled
Not mothers, not children, not kings
Not a one single person on God's golden shore
Is entitled to one single thing
We don't deserve a single damn thing
Emily Writes posted on Facebook:
Christopher Luxon was claiming more taxpayer money than most of us get in a year. $52,000 on his mortgage free home and $45,000 on his mortgage free office. He doesn't have to claim these but he's said he feels entitled to them.
Why talk about it? Because New Zealanders need to understand this: HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. He would take your last dollar without giving it a second thought. He will take your job, your livelihood, the roof over your head, your child's future - without a second's thought. Without even needing the food he takes from your table.
Emily also shared comments from people saying the money Luxon would’ve been receiving, just from this allowance, was their whole income. The same income that many who work in unglamourous jobs, that our society needs, receive. Barely enough for the basics. It’s quite a contrast.
“I’m entitled to the entitlements that everyone else has” - Christopher Luxon 1/3/2024.
If you haven’t seen it Newshub provided some excellent coverage on this and were not pulling any punches!
The way things panned out on Friday it was clear that Luxon had no understanding as to why taxpayers paying him a grand a week, to live in his own house, with Premier House sitting empty, might look bad.
He is so glaringly all about getting whatever he can, whatever he is entitled to. With no regard for the lives that his government’s policies will damage.
When he told us he’d pay back the allowance Christopher did not speak of a moral failing, or that he might’ve gotten something wrong. He simply said that the matter was a distraction.
For once I agree. As abhorrent as his claiming of all that money was, and many Kiwis will not believe he was entitled to it, this is a distraction. A diversion from other things he’s doing, that are much, much worse than claiming an allowance.
A brief commercial. Please consider that while Christopher Luxon wanted taxpayers to give him $1,000 per week to live in his own house, I would be delighted if you subscribed to my kōrero for just under $2 per week.
I listened to a fabulous interview yesterday morning on RNZ. It was interesting to hear the history of one health expert’s fight against smoking, and the changing tactics of the tobacco industry to avoid regulation.
In a quite chilling statement the interviewee said that Big Tobacco would be delighted with our new government.
That Luxon would claim this allowance wasn’t really a surprise. Although the blatantly self serving outlook of the Prime Minister has struck a nerve with many, and I suspect not just lefties. What is surprising is that he’d sell his country, and his people, out to Big Tobacco.
There will be early deaths as a result of the Smokefree measures being cancelled that would have been avoided.
It's hard enough for health campaigners to fight an industry that will use every tactic, denying the truth, making false claims, or falsely casting doubt on the work of experts, without having a government that's bending over backwards to help them.
Maybe that’s the sort of thing we ought to not get distracted from. Not this shameless claiming of every dollar he possibly can by our Prime Minister. Appalling as that is, there are worse things.
As anyone who has lost a loved one to a tobacco related death can attest.
Give me fecking strength! The fact that he didn't realise this was a problem IS A PROBLEM!!!
I think my main issue with Luxon is I don’t understand why he wanted to be PM. I don’t see any vision, purpose, love for his country. Just empty meaningless words and making sure he is getting everything he is owed. No portfolios so we don’t know what his interests are or areas of focus. Just a shell of a man.